church is sort of extreme.

Richard and Sal came in to play Dick Pick, in which Richard strips down, straps a guitar pick to his penis and strums a guitar with it.
Sal made the chords and held the guitar, and Richard held his dick and strummed. It was the gayest possible rendering of AC/DC’s “Back In Black,” “Hell’s Bells” [...]

Buy yourself a virgin – The Howard Stern ShowTuesday,  September 9, 2008BUY YOURSELF A VIRGIN The Howard Stern Show for September 9, 2008HOWARD IS NOT AUCTIONING A VIRGINHoward noted that the NY Daily News had picked up news of Dennis Hof’s appearance on today’s show, but they got the story all wrong: “I really want to tell [...]

Howard noted the Pinto’s sordid history.

The Joba Chamberlain impersonator referenced “And Never Let Her Go.”

Steve Langford reported that Sam Simon had a good laugh at Ralph’s vomit-spewing incident in Howard’s guest room.

The crew didn’t respond well to Lil Wayne’s “A Milli.”

Artie found this year’s VMA host, Russell Brand, “annoying.”

Howard played [...]

Slimming and rageless – The Howard Stern ShowMonday,  September 8, 2008SLIMMING AND RAGELESS The Howard Stern Show for September 8, 2008SLIMMING AND RAGELESS

Lisa Lampanelli stopped by to promote the show she’s doing tonight on Howard101 and talked about going to rehab to take care of some eating, co-dependency and rage issues.
ARTIE’S OFF THE SUBUTEXHoward started off [...]

Howard asked Dave about his relationship with Annie Lennox, and Dave was forthright: “We lived together for four years and broke up and then wrote 250 songs about it.” Dave said Annie was not, as you’d expect, crazy in bed – though he was: “[My friends and I used to] just sort of touch our [...]

The best of the week september 2 – 4 – The Howard Stern ShowFriday,  September 5, 2008THE BEST OF THE WEEK SEPTEMBER 2 – 4 The Howard Stern Show for September 5, 2008WEDNESDAY: BEAT THE BOOEY!BEAT THE BOOEY

Howard welcomed Mark to the studio to play “Beat the Booey,” as well as Gabrielle, a 21-year-old Long Island [...]

Howard asked Dave about his relationship with Annie Lennox, and Dave was forthright: “We lived together for four years and broke up and then wrote 250 songs about it.” Dave said Annie was not, as you’d expect, crazy in bed – though he was: “[My friends and I used to] just sort of touch our penises together…it’s hard to explain if you’ve never, well, you’ve never experienced it.” Dave added that the sick act wasn’t the dirtiest thing he’s ever done – he’s also bedded Stevie Nicks.

HE PLAYS A MEAN VIBRATOR

Dave then brought in a couple of models, Jackie and Angie, to show the crew his clothing line. Howard

was particularly impressed with Angie’s outfit: “That might be the sexiest dress I’ve ever seen.”

Dave also told the crew that his platinum vibrators aren’t normal vibrators – they’re tuned to a specific harmonic vibration. To prove his claim, he played “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” with the vibrator.

Howard started off the show confirming a report that he had been spotted playing beer pong with Ivanka Trump at Billy Joel’s house this past weekend. Howard explained how he had bet Beth that he could have a good time at the party without hanging with her or wanting to leave early, so he went off on his own and ended up playing beer pong with Ivanka. Howard played with tequila shots instead of beer and got way too buzzed: “I suck at parties…the room was spinning. I didn’t know what the f’ was going on.” Howard said he was sober enough to learn a bit of gossip: Ivanka was so excited to hang with Howard, she had a friend secretly take photos of their match so she could show them to her father. Howard said he also ran into the party’s host, Billy Joel, who didn’t seem to be having a good time: “He was more excited to see Beth. Everyone’s always more excited to see Beth.”

RALPH EVEN MAKES HIMSELF SICK

Howard noted that his time in the Hamptons also ended Ralph’s permanent invite: “I told Ralph he could come for two days. You have to tell him the exact amount of time…I sat him down and told him, ‘I love ya but you’re really hard to have as a houseguest.’” Ralph promised to behave, so Howard invited him out – but when the three went to dinner, Ralph ate and drank like a madman finally crashing in a guestroom, where he ended up vomiting everywhere…in his sleep.

Howard added that at one point he went looking for his dog the next morning and found a fully-nude Ralph sleeping facedown in his own vomit on the bed: “I saw his asshole. It was disgusting.” Later, Ralph called in to defend himself, “I didn’t gorge…I didn’t shit the bed…I was blacked out. I don’t remember it.” Howard told Ralph that he’d ruined about $1,500 worth of bed linens, so Ralph promised to pay Howard back. Howard, however, didn’t want to hear it: “Just don’t come back.”

ARTIE THROWS A CLASSY BASH

Artie told the crew about his weekend, which centered around a birthday party he threw for Robin at his shore house: “I threw [what was pretty much] a small wedding.” Artie’s party down the shore was a big event: Fred and Robin were there, a caterer was called, a bar was carved out of ice – running a pretty big tab. Robin laughed that Artie even had a cake in the shape of a boat with the name of her boat written on the back and ice sculptures made out of photos of Robin.

JD AND JARED’S ROADTRIP

JD came in to say he had to drive down to Robin’s party with Tracey, High Pitch Mike and Jared Fox, adding that he didn’t say a word to Jared the whole trip down. Artie

laughed that a shirtless Jared was riding around on a jet ski “like a superhero” at the party while JD just stood around watching –

because he couldn’t swim. JD admitted he was a little jealous: “I wish I looked like that.” Later, Howard got a look at Artie’s date for the party: “She’s gorgeous.” Artie said he met the girl on the road, and though she’s otherwise perfect, she has two kids.


Jerry revealed that he gets to name one of the twins and Rebecca the other: “She’s going with Dolly, after Dolly Parton…I’m thinking Cher.” Howard asked Jerry about Rebecca dictating his television watching habits, so Jerry went on the defensive: “If I were by myself, I would probably watch something else, but I don’t mind watching ‘Dancing with the Stars.’” Howard tried investigating the reasons why Jerry and Rebecca won’t be attending his wedding, but Jerry couldn’t really say: “You’re putting me in an awkward position here.”

REBECCA ROMIJN IS A KNOCKOUT

Howard said Jerry should try pressuring Rebecca to let him attend the wedding, as she couldn’t be cruel enough to punch him out again – and then played a clip from the Wrap-Up Show in which Jerry discussed the incident, in which a drunk and hysterical Rebecca punched him out for golfing when he said he was elsewhere. Jerry explained: “I would [defend myself], but I’m afraid of getting punched again. I’m kidding! I’m kidding, honey. She’s listening in her car right now and punching the steering wheel.”

JERRY LOVES ZOOM PORN

Howard asked Jerry about his sex life since Rebecca became pregnant, and Jerry replied that it had definitely slowed down in the first trimester. Howard wondered if Rebecca could at least jerk him off, but Jerry admitted that he’s tried unsuccessfully: “I inquired about that.” Jerry said he makes up for the lack of sex by masturbating three times a day to pornography featuring close-ups of vaginas. Everyone was freaked out by Jerry’s preference for vagina close-ups, but Jerry shrugged it off: “That’s what I like.” A caller asked if Jerry ever tried to tittie-f’ Rebecca, and Jerry confessed that he had: “I asked. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”

The best of the week september 2 – 4 – The Howard Stern ShowFriday,  September 5, 2008THE BEST OF THE WEEK SEPTEMBER 2 – 4 The Howard Stern Show for September 5, 2008WEDNESDAY: BEAT THE BOOEY!BEAT THE BOOEY

Howard welcomed Mark to the studio to play “Beat the Booey,” as well as Gabrielle, a 21-year-old Long Island bartender who will get naked if Mark loses. Gabrielle

reported that she was bi-sexual, and in fact had a girlfriend at 16 – at least 8 months before she was ever with a guy. Howard asked what women did better than men,

and Gabrielle said oral sex: “Be flat with your tongue. Not pointy.” Gary was confused: “[I've] learned nothing.” Howard then told the guys to put their hands on their buzzers and prepare for the questions:

How many children does Howard have? Gary: 3.

Name Howard’s first wife. Gary: Allison.

Where did Howard’s mother take his temperature? Mark correctly answered with “rectum.”

What breed is Howard’s current dog? Gary: Bulldog.

Who won the boxing match between Stuttering John and Cabbie? Mark: John.

On what sitcom did Artie co-star before joining the show? Mark: The Norm Show.

Who does JD hate most? Gary: Jared Fox.

In what game to contestants match their wits against Fred? Mark: Win Fred’s Money.

What is Scott the Engineer’s last name? Mark: Salem.

Which staffer is usually welcomed to the studio with techno music? Gary: JD.

What was the name of the Website Jon Hein sold to TV Guide? Gary: Jump The Shark.

Which former Hell’s Angel hosts a show on Howard101? Gary: Chuck Zito.

Ivy Supersonic recently dated which staffer? Gary: Benjy.

In 2006, which wife of a rock legend let Howard feel her boobs? Neither contestant knew it was Sharon Osbourne.

Which porn star was the prize in the first Mexican Delivery Game? Neither contestant knew it was Savanna Samson.

Which advertiser did Howard mention on his most recent Letterman appearance? Neither contestant knew it was No-Doro.

Which game show host confessed to Howard that he suffered from OCD? Gary: Howie Mandel.

What famous star made a cameo appearance in “Private Parts?” Gary: Ozzy Osbourne.

Crazy Alice is half-black and half what? Mark: Italian.

Robin infamously confessed to masturbating with what types of food? Mark: Meat and vegetables.

Which staffer caught hell for posing his daughter in Howard’s chair? Gary: Doug Goodstein.

When is Artie’s birthday? Neither contestant knew it was October 11th.

How old was Kenneth Keith Kallenbach when he died? Neither contestant knew he was 39.

Which Stern show roast comedian once had sex with a cat? Gary: Colin Quinn.

Katie Lee Joel brought in what food for Artie? Neither contestant knew it was chocolate chip cookies.

On what talk show did Howard’s mother make an appearance? Gary: The David Brenner Show.

What kind of motorcycle is Fred’s favorite? Mark: Triumph.

What publisher released Quivers: A Life? Gary: Regan Books.

Larry King once called Howard the __?__ for the ugly team? Neither contestant knew the missing word was quarterback.

Gary won! Howard then dropped the curtain to reveal a nude Gabrielle and asked her which person in the studio creeped her out the most. Gabrielle looked around at all the eyes on her and decided she had too many options: “Hmm…it’s hard to tell.”
THURSDAY: DAVE STEWART VISITS WITH 2 BEAUTIFUL MODELSDAVE STEWART SHAVES IT ALL

Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics stopped by to promote his new clothing line and told the crew he recently shaved off all his body hair. Dave said his clothing line will include several accessories, like phones and vibrators, and presented Howard with one of his gold vibes: “It’s the most powerful.” Howard was appreciative: “Thank you. I’m going to shove this right up my ass.” Dave added that his clothing line also featured other “erotic” items, like lingerie.

Howard asked Dave about his relationship with Annie Lennox, and Dave was forthright: “We lived together for four years and broke up and then wrote 250 songs about it.” Dave said Annie was not, as you’d expect, crazy in bed – though he was: “[My friends and I used to] just sort of touch our penises together…it’s hard to explain if you’ve never, well, you’ve never experienced it.” Dave added that the sick act wasn’t the dirtiest thing he’s ever done – he’s also bedded Stevie Nicks.
HE PLAYS A MEAN VIBRATOR

Dave then brought in a couple of models, Jackie and Angie, to show the crew his clothing line. Howard

was particularly impressed with Angie’s outfit: “That might be the sexiest dress I’ve ever seen.”

Dave also told the crew that his platinum vibrators aren’t normal vibrators – they’re tuned to a specific harmonic vibration. To prove his claim, he played “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” with the vibrator.
TUESDAY: BACK FROM VACATIONBEER PONG WITH IVANKA

Howard started off the show confirming a report that he had been spotted playing beer pong with Ivanka Trump at Billy Joel’s house this past weekend. Howard explained how he had bet Beth that he could have a good time at the party without hanging with her or wanting to leave early, so he went off on his own and ended up playing beer pong with Ivanka. Howard played with tequila shots instead of beer and got way too buzzed: “I suck at parties…the room was spinning. I didn’t know what the f’ was going on.” Howard said he was sober enough to learn a bit of gossip: Ivanka was so excited to hang with Howard, she had a friend secretly take photos of their match so she could show them to her father. Howard said he also ran into the party’s host, Billy Joel, who didn’t seem to be having a good time: “He was more excited to see Beth. Everyone’s always more excited to see Beth.”

RALPH EVEN MAKES HIMSELF SICK

Howard noted that his time in the Hamptons also ended Ralph’s permanent invite: “I told Ralph he could come for two days. You have to tell him the exact amount of time…I sat him down and told him, ‘I love ya but you’re really hard to have as a houseguest.’” Ralph promised to behave, so Howard invited him out – but when the three went to dinner, Ralph ate and drank like a madman finally crashing in a guestroom, where he ended up vomiting everywhere…in his sleep.

Howard added that at one point he went looking for his dog the next morning and found a fully-nude Ralph sleeping facedown in his own vomit on the bed: “I saw his asshole. It was disgusting.” Later, Ralph called in to defend himself, “I didn’t gorge…I didn’t shit the bed…I was blacked out. I don’t remember it.” Howard told Ralph that he’d ruined about $1,500 worth of bed linens, so Ralph promised to pay Howard back. Howard, however, didn’t want to hear it: “Just don’t come back.”

ARTIE THROWS A CLASSY BASH

Artie told the crew about his weekend, which centered around a birthday party he threw for Robin at his shore house: “I threw [what was pretty much] a small wedding.” Artie’s party down the shore was a big event: Fred and Robin were there, a caterer was called, a bar was carved out of ice – running a pretty big tab. Robin laughed that Artie even had a cake in the shape of a boat with the name of her boat written on the back and ice sculptures made out of photos of Robin.

JD AND JARED’S ROADTRIP

JD came in to say he had to drive down to Robin’s party with Tracey, High Pitch Mike and Jared Fox, adding that he didn’t say a word to Jared the whole trip down. Artie

laughed that a shirtless Jared was riding around on a jet ski “like a superhero” at the party while JD just stood around watching –

because he couldn’t swim. JD admitted he was a little jealous: “I wish I looked like that.” Later, Howard got a look at Artie’s date for the party: “She’s gorgeous.” Artie said he met the girl on the road, and though she’s otherwise perfect, she has two kids.

THURSDAY: JERRY O’CONNELL VISITSJERRY O’CONNELL GETS TWINS

Jerry O’Connell stopped by to say he still suffers fan retribution for losing Celebrity Superfan Challenge: “I’ll be walking down the street and people will yell, ‘You suck, O’Connell!’” Howard asked Jerry if he was having twins with Rebecca Romijn, and he confirmed it: “Two girls…or two boys with really small genitalia.” Robin wondered if Jerry expected his children to be a little chubby when they’re younger like he was, but he didn’t think so.

Jerry revealed that he gets to name one of the twins and Rebecca the other: “She’s going with Dolly, after Dolly Parton…I’m thinking Cher.” Howard asked Jerry about Rebecca dictating his television watching habits, so Jerry went on the defensive: “If I were by myself, I would probably watch something else, but I don’t mind watching ‘Dancing with the Stars.’” Howard tried investigating the reasons why Jerry and Rebecca won’t be attending his wedding, but Jerry couldn’t really say: “You’re putting me in an awkward position here.”
REBECCA ROMIJN IS A KNOCKOUT

Howard said Jerry should try pressuring Rebecca to let him attend the wedding, as she couldn’t be cruel enough to punch him out again – and then played a clip from the Wrap-Up Show in which Jerry discussed the incident, in which a drunk and hysterical Rebecca punched him out for golfing when he said he was elsewhere. Jerry explained: “I would [defend myself], but I’m afraid of getting punched again. I’m kidding! I’m kidding, honey. She’s listening in her car right now and punching the steering wheel.”
JERRY LOVES ZOOM PORN
Howard asked Jerry about his sex life since Rebecca became pregnant, and Jerry replied that it had definitely slowed down in the first trimester. Howard wondered if Rebecca could at least jerk him off, but Jerry admitted that he’s tried unsuccessfully: “I inquired about that.” Jerry said he makes up for the lack of sex by masturbating three times a day to pornography featuring close-ups of vaginas. Everyone was freaked out by Jerry’s preference for vagina close-ups, but Jerry shrugged it off: “That’s what I like.” A caller asked if Jerry ever tried to tittie-f’ Rebecca, and Jerry confessed that he had: “I asked. I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”

Friday’s Show

It’s an artie party – The Howard Stern ShowTuesday,  September 2, 2008IT’S AN ARTIE PARTY The Howard Stern Show for September 2, 2008BEER PONG WITH IVANKA

Howard started off the show confirming a report that he had been spotted playing beer pong with Ivanka Trump at Billy Joel’s house this past weekend. Howard explained how he had [...]