A historic appearance – The Howard Stern Show
A historic appearance – The Howard Stern Show
Monday, November 3, 2008A HISTORIC APPEARANCE The Howard Stern Show for November 3, 2008BETH O RAN HER OWN RACE
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Howard started off the show noting that Beth completed the New York Marathon yesterday with a time of 4:15:36. Howard added that she actually improved her pace over the course – despite stopping to go to (and wait in line for) the bathroom three times: “She ran a negative split. She got faster…She said, ‘I want to enjoy the race.’”
REMEMBERING LEAH WALSH Howard reported that his mom went to Leah Walsh’s funeral, as she’s the one who recommended Leah for an internship on the show (Leah’s parents lived on the same block as the Sterns). Howard then played the clip of Leah’s husband (and alleged killer) crying when she went “missing.” As a counterpoint, Howard also played a heartbreakingly ironic clip from Leah’s appearance on The Intern Beauty Pageant, in which she told the judges that she never had much luck with men.
MICHAEL JACKSON LOVES HALLOWEEN
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Howard welcomed Natalie Maines, who flew in from California especially for today’s “viewing” of Eric the Midget, and she laughed that Michael Jackson showed up at her Halloween party over the weekend: “A couple people went up to him and told him he had the greatest Michael Jackson costume ever.”
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Natalie added that Michael brought all three of his own children, the eldest of whom was “the most well-adjusted, self-assured” kid she’d ever met.
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Howard asked if Michael talked at all, and Natalie replied, “I think maybe he’s stuck in time as a child. I felt like maybe he’s a child. He’s got lots of handlers.”
ERIC THE MIDGET’S FIRST LIVE APPEARANCE
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Howard welcomed Eric the Midget and the two Bunny Ranch girls who took his virginity to the studio and the little guy greeted the crew as best he could: “Good morning.”
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Eric said he had a threesome with the girls last night but refused to give details: “Hanging out with them was fun. As far as you people are concerned, it’s my personal business. You’re cut off.”
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Howard told Eric he wouldn’t have bagged the chicks if it weren’t for the show, and Eric eventually broke down, saying that the girls kept him up until 2am.
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The girls – Hailey and Cherry – then described the experience, “We took his pants off and he was good to go…he loves to kiss [our breasts] and touch ‘em and suck ‘em and touch ‘em some more…
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he was on his back…surprisingly [he] doesn’t finish as fast as you think.”
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Howard asked Cherry, the girl who actually had intercourse with Eric, if she had an orgasm, and she said that she didn’t – though Eric did try to manipulate her clitoris during sex, something he claimed to have learned from watching porn
ERIC’S REAL DOLL IS A GO
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Howard then introduced Eric to a representative from the Real Doll company, explaining that he was there take Eric’s measurements for a Real Doll facsimile. Eric refused to consent: “No he’s f’ing not. I will break his wrist. I don’t care if it’s painless. Stay the f’ away from me.”
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The Real Doll representative thought Eric could expect a share of the profits from the “millions” of Eric the Midget real dolls they hoped to sell, but Eric wouldn’t budge.
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Eric then told the crew that his parents were still upset about the show publicizing his deflowering, so Howard promised him a consolation prize: High Pitch “Kelly Clarkson” Erik! Who came in and sang a song about her “stinky twat” for Eric, but Eric didn’t respond as planned: “Get the f’ away from me, High Pitch.”
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“Kelly Clarkson” knew her/his cue: “Who’s High Pitch? I’m Kelly Clarkson.” Howard then asked Eric if he’d consent to the Real Doll if he could produce Diana DeGarmo – and Eric agreed.
ERIC MEETS DIANA DEGARMO
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Howard triumphantly welcomed Eric’s favorite American Idol contestant, Diana DeGarmo into the studio! Artie was stunned: “Is that really her?” Howard asked Diana if Eric’s constant calls to her mom’s home scared her, and Diana explained: “Calling my mother’s house was interesting, but my number was unlisted – and hers is no longer…It’s a little weird to have someone you’ve never met before call the house.”
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Eric then asked Diana if she’d like to “continue seeing-meeting with each other” and she replied, “Yeah, at the shows.”
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Robin told Diana that Eric wanted to see her more than just at her concerts,
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but Artie thought Eric would have a better chance of f’ing Ruben Studdard. Diana agreed, saying her boyfriend would have a problem with that.KURT ANGLE MAKES A GREAT WINGMAN
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TNA wrestler Kurt Angle also stopped by to say hi to Eric and said that Howard inspired his move to help build TNA into the WWE’s main professional wrestling competitor: “It’s been a growing experience and it’s getting bigger and better.” 
Kurt then told Eric not to blow his big chance to profess his love to Diana: “You have to ask her. You have to have the balls to ask her…I’m gonna make you an honorary member of The Main Event Mafia and as an honorary member, you have to go for the ‘P.’”
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Eric eventually broke down and turned to Diana: “I was wondering, the next time you’re out in California, would you like to meet for dinner?” Diana said she’d think about it: “That’s not a no! If I do, I’ll hit you up on MySpace.” Kurt was bummed and offered Eric something better: “You know what? You can f’ me.” Eric refused: “No. You’re a guy.” Natalie Maines then asked the Bunny Ranch girls how long they were with Eric, and they reported that the love-making session lasted two hours.
MEET DANTE, THE FIRST I WANT TO BE HOWARD STERN FINALIST
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Dante, a former intern and one of the I Want to be Howard Stern finalists, stopped by to promote his show tonight at 7pm ET on Howard 101. Dante told the crew that, after his internship ended last December, he got a job anchoring a radio newscast and quickly got fired for commenting on the news too much. Everyone agreed that Dante had a “smooth” and comfortable style: “You’ve got a real talent here.”
NATALIE SINGS “WHEN I SEE BETH SMILING”
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Before Robin started her news, Natalie Maines came back in to chat and a caller requested that she sing the version of “When I See Beth Smiling” live in-studio. Natalie needed a moment to prepare, so she and Fred went out into the green room to rehearse and relearn the song’s chords and lyrics.
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After about 10 minutes, the pair returned and stunned the crew with a touching version of Lonnie’s near-instant classic. Howard laughed: “Wow! You really love Beth!”
IT’S TIME FOR ROBIN’S NEWS
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