Artie scores a chaperone – The Howard Stern ShowWednesday,  October 22, 2008ARTIE SCORES A CHAPERONE The Howard Stern Show for October 22, 2008ROBIN’S NEW FACEHoward started off the show noting that Robin was either wearing new make-up or none at all, and Robin replied it was new: “This is a more natural lipstick and eyeliner…it’s very sweet of you to notice.” Howard agreed that it was a more natural look and told her it looked great. was shocked by Howard’s keen eye: “How do you notice this shit? You’re the most homosexual heterosexual ever.”
WILL ROSIE JOIN THE PITY PARTY?Howard laughed that he tried to make Beth jealous last night by telling her about the pity party he was planning for Thursday, but she didn’t seem to care: “She said, ‘Oh good! I was worried about you.’”
Jason came in to rattle off the pity party’s official guest list: Artie, Fred, JD, Sal, Benjy and Ross. Robin laughed: “And this is supposed to make her jealous?”

ARTIE’S TOP GUN WINGMANArtie said he recently got an “the greatest email ever” from John Stamos, as he was planning on going to the same Playboy Mansion Halloween party that Artie was thinking of attending and promised to “keep an eye” on him.

Artie laughed that John was sure to be surrounded by a gaggle of women, and was very excited to catch some of his “shrapnel.”
“143” ROUND 3Gary told Howard that Sal’s wife, Christine, turned down the show’s request to take part in a new lie detector bit…even for $5,000.
Sal came in to say Christine flat-out refused: “She won’t do it.” Howard explained that Christine would be tested off the air in a controlled setting and only the results would be read on-air, so Sal pleaded for more incentive: “She humiliates me…gets the check and goes to the mall. What’s in it for me?” Howard told Sal that he’d get to finally know for sure if she’d cheated, but Sal said it wouldn’t make a difference. Sal said he was committed to making their marriage work.
WHAT WOULD RICH SAL DO?

Howard wondered if Sal would get divorced if he was financially secure, and Sal was evasive: “That’s a good question,” adding jokingly, “How many bags can I pack on a plane?”
Fred guessed that Sal’s efforts to save a failing marriage was behavior he learned after watching his dad’s philandering as a boy: “He relates to his mom, who had to put up with a lot of bullshit.” Ironically, the conversation ended and Howard went to a commercial break, and the first commercial was for Ashley Madison.
SIRIUS WON’T PAY FOR LISA G’S CAT-SITTERHoward laughed that Lisa G recently tried to get the company to reimburse her for the cat-sitter who took care of her cat while she was in California on business last week.
Lisa came in to explain that her cat – hilariously named “Lucky” – needed medicine twice a day or it would die. When she went to California to cover the Celebrity SuperFan RoundTable, she had to hire someone to come administer the medication.
Lisa said she listed the cost on her trip’s expense report – along with the batteries for her digital recorder – and was denied compensation. After hearing her explanation, Howard agreed that it wasn’t as crazy as it first sounded.
BENJY’S ODD BEHAVIOR, PT. MXVIIILisa G reported that Benjy and Ronnie got in a fight yesterday, so Ronnie came in to explain that he frequently has to talk with Benjy about the “weird shit” he does in the halls: “Yesterday, Ranae, [Mini-Me's ex] was here…

so Benjy comes out – and he does this a lot: You stare at people. And you say, ‘Haven’t I seen her before? Don’t I know you from somewhere?’” Benjy shot back that he thought Ranae resembled a chick that Jerry Seinfeld allegedly had an affair with a few years back.
ROBIN’S DATING HALF THE CITYHoward wondered if Robin was still dating Mark, the guy who recently came in to ask her out, and Robin confirmed she was
– but despite what Howard thought, he’s not just using her for sex: “Please use me sexually!” Robin said, “We’re just dating…whenever we can. I’m a busy girl.” Howard asked if Robin was afraid of getting attached because he was so young, but Robin denied it: “I’m not afraid of anything.”

Gregg Karmel from HowardTV called in to say the news distressed him, and, under pressure from Howard, asked Robin out. Robin refused to answer: “Gregg, if you want to go out with me, you have to ask me off the air.”

Gary laughed, “Gregg, are you prepared to work elsewhere when this is over?” Howard noted that Robin also made plans to hang out with Jared Fox, and Robin confirmed she’d arranged for JD’s nemesis to escort her and some friends on a barhopping excursion. Howard wondered, if Robin didn’t claim Jared for herself, which of her friends would snatch him up.

HIGH PITCH MIKE SERENADES YOUHoward played High Pitch Mike’s most recent “Lowdown,” in which he attacks Jillian Barbarie for singing badly at Howard’s wedding and claimed her repeat performance on Thursday’s Celebrity SuperFan RoundTable was a form of dog torture.

To prove how awful her vocals were, Mike then sang his own “Landslide” duet with a recording of Natalie Maines. Howard laughed: “I like it.”
Sumner Redstone is getting divorced.
Western diets are spreading poor health.

A judge declared a mistrial in court proceedings over one of Britney Spears’ driving offenses.

The rich cheat on their taxes more than the middle class.
Howard, Robin and Ralph agreed that “Real Time with Bill Maher” is great.
Howard said his 9th Grade class read from the “Itsy Bitsy” books series.
The crew rocked out to Jimi Hendrix’s “Are You Experienced?”
Fred sang the melody of Cannibal & The Headhunters “Land of 1,000 Dances.”
Howard played some clips from The Beatles’ legendary Shea Stadium performance.

Howard played the classic clip of Bill O’Reilly exploding: “F’ it! Do it live!”
Wednesday’s Show