DO IT FOR THE SHOW The Howard Stern Show for April 7, 2009

HOWARD STILL UNSURE ABOUT 2011

Howard started off the show saying he and Beth recently discussed what would happen after his Sirius contract was over. Howard recalled that after claiming he was strongly considering retiring, Beth openly doubted his sincerity. Howard said he realized she was right – he’s really not sure if he’ll retire at the end of 2010: “But I honestly can tell you right now, when I woke up this morning, I didn’t want to come here. But what are you going to do otherwise?”

UNDERDOG LADY DESTROYS CUPCAKES

Howard played some clips from Suzanne Muldowney’s show last night in which she blamed Howard for the “shameful” attacks on her “innocent” person. Tim Sabean came in to say Underdog Lady’s food order somehow expanded while she was here: in addition to the Hawaiian Punch, orange juice and steak sandwich (halved, individually wrapped), she asked for chocolate cupcakes – and, when she was done with them, more chocolate cupcakes.

Tim said Underdog Lady also “smelled to high heaven” and asked him to march with her in some parade in Jersey this weekend: “She wanted to make me a costume…she wanted to be a princess and me to be her prince.” Howard told Tim he had to do it – everyone on the show has to make sacrifices.

SAL & RICHARD TRY TO BACK DOWN

came in to complain that “Family Guy” creator Seth MacFarlane was booked before he promised to take a load on his back: “I’m very gullible.” Howard admitted that Seth was booked – but unless Richard goes through with the stunt, Seth will be turned away at the door. followed Richard in to say a Howardstern.com poll proved that he wasn’t the fan’s choice to the load-dropper to Richard’s load-dropee: “Technically I lost the poll…52% don’t want me to do it.”

Howard didn’t care what the poll indicated or what Sal wanted and instructed him to go through with the stunt anyway. Sal tried a different tack, speculating that he wouldn’t be able to get hard with dudes all around him. Gary came in to remind Sal how often he’d encouraged others to be a “team player,” so Sal said he’d think about it. Richard also offered to let Sal use his MyView glasses so his field of vision would be filled with his favorite porn during the stunt.

SENATOR ARLEN SPECTER

Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pennsylvania) stopped by and told the crew about staying on the job while undergoing chemotherapy: “I started getting more mail about my hairstyle than about public policy…people wrote me to tell me to shave my head and become a sex symbol.” Robin asked how he kept his mind of the job, so Sen. Spector joked that his verbose colleagues are more difficult to manage than cancer: “Sometimes your fellow Senators are more distracting.”

Sen. Spector said he’d met with some of the world’s biggest monsters, including Saddam Hussein and Hugo Chavez (Howard cut in: “And me!”), which has earned him some respect in Washington – but he’s never felt obligated to vote along party lines: “I vote for America.” Howard asked if President Bush should be tried for war crimes, but Sen. Spector denied it: “You can blame the analysts who were wrong…I do not believe the President and Vice President maliciously or deliberately led us down the wrong path.”

A SENATOR ON BUSH, GAYS & COLONICS

Howard asked Sen. Spector about a series of topics:

Will Bush be remembered as a bad president? “It is too soon to tell.”

Gay marriage? “I believe gays should have all the rights…but the act of marriage I have to reserve.”

How much fundraising should campaigns be limited to? “A few million dollars would be sufficient.”

Where do you stand on enemas and colonics? “On those items, I wouldn’t be standing.”