Date posted: September 23, 2008

Eric the Midget called to see if Artie had brought in the pictures he’d given him to deliver in San Francisco. Howard laughed that Artie had not: “I told you that if you give Artie pictures, they will get lost in the abyss that is Artie’s bag.” At Eric’s insistence, Artie sarcastically promised to hunt down the package: “Yeah. It’ll be the first thing I do. When I get home, before I order ravioli from Uptown, I’ll look for your f’ing pictures.” Artie added that the pictures weren’t the first thing he’d lost in his apartment, as he was still looking for his new laptop and iPhone which were in there somewhere.

Ralph called in to say he wasn’t admitting guilt by refusing to take a lie detector test: “I don’t really remember the incident and I don’t know what the question on the table is for this lie detector.” Howard told him that Dominic Barbara has upped the test compensation to $10,000 and Ralph’s ears perked up: “Oh really?” Gary asked if Artie’s account of the money-swiping incident was accurate, but Ralph refused to fall on one side: “The truth is, I don’t remember…this is what I remember: the count was off and I was blamed for it and I made up for it.” Howard said he’d drawn his own conclusion based on Ralph’s call this morning.