Is this the future mrs. lange? – The Howard Stern ShowMonday,  August 18, 2008IS THIS THE FUTURE MRS. LANGE? The Howard Stern Show for August 18, 2008GEORGE TAKEI IS SITTING IN ALL WEEK

Howard started off the show announcing that George Takei would be sitting in again all week. George happily said “Good morning” and congratulated the crew on the Sirius-XM merger. Howard asked George about his upcoming nuptials, and George replied that he was surprised at all the media attention, noting that he would be married on the 14th of December – and all it took to get a marriage license was a pair of birth certificates and $70.NO “H” FOR YOU

Howard claimed that all the “hoopla” surrounding his own marriage was giving him cold feet: “I should’ve gone off somewhere and married her like I wanted to.” Howard also laughed that Doug (who runs this Website) turned down a picture of the “H” Beth had tattooed on her wrist: “He said, ‘What am I gonna do with that?’” Robin was surprised: “He must have been confused.” Howard thought it was hilarious: “He must’ve been like, ‘I’ve seen an “H” before.’” [Actually, the photo was posted along with several Photoshops sent in by listeners, there just wasn’t any place to put it in Thursday’s rundown.]HOWARD’S CHINESE BABY Howard told a story about watching the Olympics with Beth – until she spontaneously announced she wanted to adopt a Chinese baby: “Once in a while, she’ll decide she wants a Chinese baby.” Howard also recounted his response: “No. But if she’s good on the parallel bars…” Robin theorized that Howard had nothing to worry about: Beth liked being with Howard so much, she’s given up on having a child. SAL TAKES REFUGE IN A STRIPCLUB

Gary told the crew that Will and Jason had an afternoon bachelor party at Ricks Cabaret on Thursday, and Sal ended up staying longer than anyone else. Sal came in to defend himself: “It’s like anything else: when you’re having fun, time flies…It’s important to be personable.” Howard asked if Sal had a favorite girl at Rick’s, but Sal denied it: “When you’re married, any girl looks good.” He did say though that he spent over an hour playing the “Racist Name” game with one girl who was really good at it…but like him, was not a racist herself.

Howard mentioned that he was surprised at George’s one-day-a-week sex life with his fiancé, Brad, so George explained: “Sunday’s a day when he doesn’t have to deal with emails or telephone calls – that’s what he tells me.” George added that he and Brad won’t be getting a pre-nup: “I trust him…I don’t think it’s gonna end.” Howard listed several reasons why George should change his mind, and George eventually confessed that he was starting to consider the idea: “Maybe we should have that…We just may have that conversation tonight.”

Howard welcomed Kristi, Miss HowardTV September, to the studio, and Artie began his routine: “This is the hottest chick we’ve ever had up here.” Howard actually seemed irritated by the line for the first time: “Ok…” Howard turned to Kristi and asked her a few questions, and Kristi revealed that she was Italian and a nursing student from Staten Island. She talked about herself a little more, but the answers weren’t half as interesting as the pictures Jason took. Click on those. Before she left, Artie asked Kristi if she might like to change her name to Kristi Lange, but she was prepared: “No…your sweatpants pull a little too much at the bottom.”

Eric the Midget called in to complain that he hadn’t heard from Johnny Fratto in over a week and blamed Steve Langford for the silence. The little guy was on fire: he screamed at Fred for playing sound effects, Artie for calling him a “little douche,” Robin for asking questions and Howard for just talking. Eric said he feared Johnny was trying to cut him out of the JFSC empire: “I’m supposed to be a part of the [HowardTV's “Charlie's Angels” remake] casting call and I haven’t heard from Johnny in a week.”

JEFF THE DRUNK LOSES ANOTHER FRIEND

Jeff the Drunk called in to say a friend of his overdosed on drugs and alcohol over the weekend. The story killed Robin’s mood: “Aren’t you chipper?” Jeff said the kid was only 25-years-old, and the worst part (other than losing one of his only friends) was that Jeff never told him who had won HowardTV’s “Wack Pack Bowling.” Howard agreed to let Jeff whisper the name of the winner to his late friend’s corpse, but Artie warned Jeff not to say it too loud: “Doug Goodstein will have a team of lawyers on you so fast…”KID ROCK’S LAZY HIT

Gary came in to laugh at Kid Rock’s latest hit single for being a exaggerated mash-up of “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Werewolves in London,” but Howard took offense: “If it’s so simple, you do it then.” Artie took Gary’s side, saying the songs interpolated in the song were already certified hits, so Howard challenged him as well: “Take any two songs and do it…You guys are thinking it’s easier than it is.” Richard then came in to share a parody song he’d made that used “I Love Rock N Roll” and some Van Halen song, proving Howard’s point. ROBIN’S LOVE CONNECTION

Howard asked Robin if she’d spoken with Mark, the guy who came in last week to ask her out, and Robin confessed that she had called him: “We talked for maybe 5 minutes.” Robin continued, repeatedly emphasizing the “maybe”s: “We did talk about maybe getting together…I said I’d call him again when I have some time.” Howard wondered if Robin had touched herself while thinking about Mark, but she claimed she had not (thought of Mark while she was pleasuring herself recently). Howard was doubtful: “I don’t believe that for a minute.”

Howard noted that Jim Florentine commented on his relationship with Robin during a recent appearance on the Bubba the Love Sponge show, so Robin said she thought “It’s a little soon to be talking about it, I would think, if I was a gentleman.” Robin wished Jim a happy birthday just the same and laughed that her gift to him was air time, as that’s what he seemed to like best.