Knee high porn – The Howard Stern ShowTuesday,  October 21, 2008KNEE HIGH PORN The Howard Stern Show for October 21, 2008ARTIE’S IN LOVE WITH CHAOSHoward started off the show asking if he could’ve possibly had better weekend, and Artie laughed that probably couldn’t:
“I’m probably down $600 grand lifetime…but the thing is, last week I was down $641,000.” Artie added that he actually has a pattern of crazy weekends, noting something Dana told him when they were breaking up:
“I told her that I was in love with her to get her to stay with me, and she said, ‘You’re in love with chaos.’”
THE MANY TALES OF CHUCK ZITO Howard played a clip from last night’s Chuck Zito Show of Chuck discussing his exes, including; one chick who he forgot and tried to re-hit on years later
(“She turned to me and said, ‘I’m offended…you slept with me eight years ago.’”), a Scores girl he dated for a couple years who won’t even look at him anymore and an Asian chick who got upset when he couldn’t last for more than 30 minutes.
HOWARD PLANS A PARTY

Howard told the crew that Beth has a girls-only birthday party to go to on Thursday, so he wanted to make her jealous by telling her he was going to head out to see Cheech & Chong’s show on Long Island.
Beth was non-plussed by Howard’s claim, so Howard decided to step it up: “I’ll go to Nobu or something. She likes that.” Howard also thought he should hang out with someone who’s “crazy” behavior Beth might feel threatened by, like Ross Zapin.

Artie said he’d love to come to Howard’s pity party, but he might be headed to the Playboy Mansion’s Halloween party. Robin thought Artie was making a mistake: “He’s gonna need some liquid courage and…”

RILEY MARTIN NEGOTIATES HIMSELF OUT OF A JOBRiley Martin called in to announce that he was done negotiating his contract and planned to leave when it runs out in a few weeks.
Howard asked Riley where he’d previously earned $400 for an hour’s worth of work, but the only thing Riley could come up with was some story about bare-knuckle fighting for $80 a pop back in the day. Howard then called Riley’s bluff, laughing that he probably didn’t have to pay Riley at all: “Quite frankly, I think he’d do it for free.”
DON IMUS: URBAN COWBOYHoward said he ran into Don Imus on the street the other day: “You see this figure walking down the street with a big giant hat…and these boots on…he’s got this whole look…Where’s he going?
He’s no superhero. He’s no Clark Kent. He’s dressed appropriately if he’s going to go rope some cattle.” Howard added that he said hello and they shook hands before quickly moving on, neither saying much else.

Ranae Shrider, the girl who co-stars in the Verne “Mini Me” Troyer sex tape, stopped by and Howard told her she wasn’t bad looking.

“I’VE TRIED TO BLOCK IT OUT.”Howard wanted more details, so Ranae confessed that they could only have intercourse Missionary-style because of Verne’s size (he only comes up to her belly button during sex) and she couldn’t move – she’d have to lay still or he’d slip out.
The experiences still haunt her: “I’ve tried to block it out.” Later, she learned that Verne had cheated on her in Vegas – she actually heard about it when Verne was last on the show.
Howard wondered why Ranae was doing press for a sex tape that was supposedly stolen, so she plugged some Website and claimed she wasn’t promoting the tape:

“People say it looks like I’m giving birth to a baby.” Renee told the crew not to pity the little guy, though: “He can [orgasm] three times in twenty minutes.” Howard asked if they still talk, and Ranae admitted they did: “I talked to him last night.”

YOU’RE SO VAINHoward laughed that Sal nearly missed a plane to his comedy gig in Ohio because he was waiting for an intern to return from Bumble & Bumble with his favorite hairspray.
Sal came in to say he liked hair products – and their ability to hide his faults: “I have a long forehead. The lights hit it and it shines a lot…it’s a distraction.” Eventually Sal admitted that the hairspray “has a little bit of a thickening agent in it,” as he’s self-conscious about his thinning hair.
SCOTT THE ENGINEER IS ON THE DO-NOT-INVITE LISTHoward heard that Scott the Engineer was complaining about his seat assignment at Howard’s wedding, and now for not being invited to Howard’s pity party.
Scott came in to say he was used to not being invited, and he had a great time at Howard’s wedding (he just couldn’t hear the toasts). Scott’s intern Jack came in to dispute Scott’s story: he has repeatedly claimed to be on Howard’s “do-not-invite list.”
Iranians rushed to eat the world’s largest sandwich before it could be measured.

You’d be surprised by who has turned down some choice roles.
Australian researchers say vitamin D improves your sperm count.
A Michigan man has been arrested for having sex with a car wash vacuum cleaner.
A former US Air Force pilot claims he was ordered to shoot down a “massive” UFO over Britain in 1957.
Erectile dysfunction is an early sign of cardiovascular problems.
Nick Hogan has been released from jail.
Education and a mentally stimulating job can stave off dementia.
Obama is leaving the campaign trail to visit his ailing grandmother. Obama is leading McCain by double digits in most polls.
Rush Limbaugh made some interesting comments about Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama.
Gas prices are deceptively low right now.