Long live cheech and chong – The Howard Stern Show

Date posted: October 20, 2008

Long live cheech and chong – The Howard Stern Show The Latest Rundown Monday,  October 20, 2008LONG LIVE CHEECH AND CHONG The Howard Stern Show for October 20, 2008GINDALOONS 0…ARTIE 41,000

Howard started off the show talking gambling with Artie, who said that he was up $41,000 playing poker in Atlantic City over the weekend (”I know three gindaloons from Bloomfield Avenue that transferred their wealth to me this weekend.”).
Without any help from the Jets though : “The Jets will always f’ you even if a chick won’t.” Howard asked if Artie has told his therapist about his gambling, and Artie said he had, just not all of it. Artie laughed that he got a limo home from the poker game and stocked it with two strippers, a white girl and a Hispanic chick:

“They were solid Vegas 7s but Jersey 9.5s…I got oral three times on the way to the home.” One of the girls put the condom on with her mouth: “I’m not sure how they practice that.”
Artie said the Hispanic chick did him twice, but the white girl spent most of time text messaging, only stopping long enough to give him oral once. Afterward, Artie told the driver to stop at Burger King where all went in together (Artie, the driver and both strippers) and ate their double cheeseburgers in the corner.

JD SHARES HIS TOP 10 LIST


JD came in to answer Ralph’s politically correct “Top 10 Hottest Chicks at Howard’s Wedding” list with one of his own:

10. Natalie Maines.
9. Suzanna Melendez.
8. Jillian Barberie.
7. Melissa Zapin.
6. Heather Clem (Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife).
5. Jill Martin.
4. Kelly Ripa.
3. Sam Simon’s girlfriend.
2. Kristin Takemen (Beth’s friend).
1. Cat, the girlfriend of Howard’s friend Greg.
Howard and Artie took issue with JD’s omissions, including Sarah Silverman, Mary McCormack and John Stamos’ girlfriend.

CHEECH AND CHONG AND NATASHA

Cheech and Chong stopped by with Cheech’s smoking hot fiancée, Natasha, to promote the duo’s reunion tour, but Natasha stole the show.

After a while, Howard tore himself away from Natasha and asked Cheech why he can’t seem to stay married, so Cheech explained that he never cheated on any of his wives:

“I just fudged the line a little bit.” Howard asked the guys why they ever stopped working together, and Cheech explained that he thought they could do something other than drug movies.

GET TOGETHER, BREAK UP, GET BACK TOGETHER

Howard asked the guys how they got their start, and Cheech explained how they started as a musical and improv act in his family’s topless joint. Chong added that they started doing drug material when they got to LA:

“We met the right Jew there and he helped us get going.” Chong told Howard that they split up after Cheech did “Born in East LA.”
Cheech laughed that he got out too late: the drug material came back to bite them when Chong was in jail and had to be cavity searched after every visitor.

Richard then came in to tell the guys he was their biggest fan and asked if there was going to be another movie, which Chong said may be possible: “We don’t have a deal right now, but we’ve got some Jews working on it.

CHARITY STARTS IN THE BACK OFFICE

Howard came back from a break laughing that Artie was handing out $100 bills in the hall.

Among the takers: Lisa G, JD, Scott DePace, Jason, Ronnie the Limo Driver, one of the interns and Scott the Engineer. Will actually got $1100, but Artie owed him that – or he owed it to Dominic Barbara, who owed money to Will, so he just cut out the middle man.

WEDDING GAMES

Howard told the crew that Donald Trump sat with Sen. Al D’Amato at his wedding, and when Howard went over to talk with them, Donald was irritated with Al, telling Howard, “I hope you never have to sit through another Senator Al D’Amato story!”

Howard also played a few clips from last week’s Celebrity SuperFan RoundTable, including Jimmy Kimmel’s take on Chevy Chase’s wedding toast (“He didn’t read the room correctly.”) and Ralph’s “serious character flaws.”
In another clip, Jillian Barbarie discussed how she likes to slap people to create awkward situations. Howard didn’t think it sounded fun: “If she walked up to me and slapped me in the face, I’d punch her in the head.”

ERIC THE MIDGET IS SCREWED

Eric the Midget called in to say that Jillian Barbarie was on his shit-list for mocking him on the Celebrity SuperFan RoundTable.

Eric was even more upset with Jimmy Kimmel for calling him a “deflated volleyball,” but the crew’s laughs proved Jimmy’s line was a killer. Howard then announced the big news: Eric will soon be coming to the studio for the first time – with the hooker who took his virginity…maybe.

Eric confessed that his family is upset with the trip that he took to the Bunny Ranch – so much so that they are talking about kicking him out of his house. Howard couldn’t believe it: “Did you show your dad the chick’s picture?”

Eric replied that his parents feel shamed: “They think I’m starting to become an embarrassment to the family.” Howard laughed: “You’ve always been an embarrassment to the family.” However, Howard did side with Eric on this one, wondering how Eric’s family could possibly find fault with a 33 year old man wanting to get laid. To which Artie added, “Yeah, you’re a full grown midget.”

MISS HOWARDTV’S REAL ESTATE

Howard was blown away by Megan, the latest Miss HowardTV:
“What planet are you from?”

Megan said she was a real estate agent from Philadelphia, and her open house events are frequently awkward:
“The guys will just stand there and stare.”

With Howard’s help, Megan then walked through the story of her only lesbian experience:

“She [was] a very aggressive person…I was nervous…she got right to it…she was better than most guys.”

IT’S TIME FOR ROBIN’S NEWSSarah Palin was on Saturday Night Live.

Mr. Blackwell is dead.
The guy from the Four Tops is dead.
The Grammys are coming.
The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are set to face the Philadelphia Phillies in the World Series.
Parents of ADHD-afflicted children are almost twice as likely to divorce.
Jenny McCarthy claims to have cured her kid’s autism.
Colin Powell has endorsed Obama.
You now have to purchase a license to buy season tickets to Jets games.
Don Cornelius is in hot water.
“Max Payne” is number one at the box office.
Phil Spector’s retrial starts soon.
Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” is her first number one in over a decade.
Artie was on fire today: “Jet fans are not smart people.”
Cheech and Chong are back on the road together!!
Steve Langford reported that Howard was featured in the NY Times chess column.
Artie joked that he was going to the Halloween party at the Playboy Mansion dressed as Tom Selleck.
Robin said she’d walked out of “W.”
Howard said he and Booker watched “The Happening,” but wasn’t impressed.
Howard told a story about his parents watching all of “Don’t Mess with the Zohan” because they’d paid for it.
Howard noted that the only movie his mother’s ever recommended was “Lars and the Real Girl.”
Ralph called in to say that “Jimmy’s an asshole.”

Monday’s Show

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