sternbuzz.com » Monday, February 2, 2009

Monday, February 2, 2009

Date posted: February 9, 2009

Monday, February 2, 2009THEY PEE TOGETHER The Howard Stern Show for February 2, 2009CUT OUT THE 3D CHUCKHoward started off the show complaining about the number of commercials, merchandise plugs and cross promotions during Sunday’s Super Bowl: “It’s enough with your name on stuff and asking me to wear it. NBC could have been a hero and cut out the 3D Chuck promos.” Howard also thanked Bruce Springsteen for saving the Halftime Show: “I actually wanted him to keep going.”ARTIE WINS BIG

Artie reported that he won big on the game, as he had the Steelers in the under: “So I did a teaser – what they call a two-team teaser – and my guy let me move it four points.” Since there was only one game, Artie got to move the line for both teams. He moved the under up to 50.5 points (the game’s score ended up combining for 50 points) and the spread down to 2.5 points. Artie said the gamble paid off big.

BUT DID HE PULL A “STAR MOVE”?

Gary came in to complain that Artie spilled Hi-C all over the console on Thursday, and when told about it, made no attempt to help mop up: “You didn’t look for a paper towel or make any attempt to clean up.” Artie was confused: “Honestly I didn’t think it was that big of a spill…I’m sorry, Gare.” Howard told Artie he had to get his attitude in check: “That’s a star move…I would never leave until it was cleaned up. I’m that kinda guy.”

Artie then confirmed Howard’s “star move” theory when he told Gary that he should’ve let an intern clean up the mess. Before Howard could gloat, Gary said he was just as bad: “You leave the toothpicks all over the place.” Howard admitted that his toothpicks sometimes roll away from him when he’s pushing papers around, but it was never intentional: “I don’t say, ‘I’m gonna leave a toothpick there.’” Gary shrugged that he usually finds one or two a week – but a toothpick is not a massive juice spill.

HOWARD IS ON FACEBOOK

Howard said Beth signed him up for Facebook (under a pseudonym) and he spent the weekend exploring the site: “I already hate it. I hate Facebook so much.” Howard started writing messages on Beth’s wall and was annoyed that he had to come up with witty shit all the time. Gary came in to explain some of the network’s finer points, but couldn’t explain the image on Scott DePace’s page of a cartoon Obama with klansmen in the background.

Scott came in to claim he didn’t realize klansmen were in the image on his page (”I had no idea!”), adding that he was just learning his way around as well. Howard then listed his complaints (other than Scott’s background), including the burden of coming up with “witty shit” to write on people’s “walls” and some of his friends’ lame status updates: “Like, ‘Ross Zapin is eating dinner.’”

SAL SNIFFED A MAN’S LOAD

Sal told Howard that his job on the recently taped episodes of “Inside the Porn Actor’s Studio” was to smell the porn star’s genitals, but one recently made him re-think his role: “She dug into herself and made me sniff her fingers. It was like ammonia and Swiss cheese…later on, she admitted that her boyfriend had dropped a load in her a few days before and she had left it in to ferment…I sniffed a man’s load!”

NO, NO, NO THAT’S NOT GAY

Howard said he heard that Sal and Richard pee together, so Sal came in to explain how they occasionally use the restroom together (peeing at once, into the same toilet) so they don’t interrupt whatever project they happen to be working on: “We don’t want the ritual to break up…Richard drops his pants down to his ankles when he pees.” While Richard complained that Sal, “shakes that thing and water…I mean pee…goes everywhere.” Howard thought the duo’s reasons were flimsy: “That’s bullshit. You’re definitely bisexual.”

FLAVOR FLAV IS ALREADY DOWN ON YOU

Flavor Flav stopped by to promote his “Nite Tales” DVD and asked Robin if she was running for president: “You’re behind the bulletproof ‘boof’!” Flavor added that he felt partly responsible for Obama’s presidency: “A Jewish president is next!” Howard wondered if Flavor had a tough time dating Bridget Nielsen: “Did you go down on her?” Flavor laughed: “I was already down on her! She’s 6′2″ [and] I’m 5′8″!”
Flavor told the crew that he lost his virginity at 6-years-old: “We were experimenting, man…natural instincts.” Flavor laughed that he hasn’t stopped since: “My three oldest…they live out on Long Island [with their mother]…my middle three [with their mother]…they moved up to Albany…my last one, his name is Karma…he lives with me [and his mother] in Las Vegas.” Flavor said planned to keep going, as he wanted three more children.

LIVE FROM CELL #3432

Howard asked if Flavor if he still talked with former rap partner, Chuck D, and Flavor claimed he did: “There were times when he was trying to get up on my [VH1] show.” Howard also wondered if Flavor would consider a return to radio. Flavor said he might – and noted that he used to work with Lisa G at Hot97: “Lisa’s always been single, man…honestly, I think Lisa’s scared. I think she’s scared of love from a man.”

Flavor noted that he was the only radio host to ever broadcast from jail, adding that his longest sentence was for two-and-a-half years: “I know it was wrong, what I did. But back in the day? I was the man!…The gang I was in, some of the stuff I had to do.” Flavor told the crew that he faced some tough guys in prison: “They thought they’d make a name for themselves and beat up Flavor Flav…This was in the sixth building. The sixth building of Riker’s Island.”

RICHARD TEARS UP DURING “ONE”

Richard came in to tell the crew that he saw Metallica over the weekend and cried during their performance of “One” because it reminded him of camping with his old friend Jason. Howard played the song and asked Richard to get into it – and Richard came through: “I miss when you’re young and stuff and you first hear certain types of music. It just means so much, you know. I’m starting to cry…this song and this album – I had so many good times listening to this. See? I’m crying like a pussy now.”