Date posted: November 8, 2008

The best of the week november 3 – 7 – The Howard Stern ShowFriday,  November 7, 2008The Best of the Week November 3 – 7 The Howard Stern Show for November 7, 2008GINA OR WEINER WITH THE LOVELY GINA LYNNGINA LYNN IS A FANTASTIC WHORE

Gina Lynn stopped by to promote her latest video, “Fantastic Whores 4”, and her appearance in HowardTV’s “The Wackpack Visits The Christys.” When she walked in everyone remarked that she’d gotten even better looking since her last visit.

Howard revealed that Gina was his current favorite porn star: “I beat off to so many of Gina’s videos.” Gina had heard that Howard was a big fan of her oral sex technique, so she used a banana to show the crew her usual routine: “I choke on it a few times to get it wet and then I give it my technique.”

Howard asked Gina how she liked filming with the wackpackers at the Christy family farm in Kansas, and Gina replied she never wanted to return to Kansas: “After that trip I will never eat meat or chicken…it kind of freaked me out.” Gina cited a jersey cow named Esther that responded to its name as the animal that most influenced her decision – despite the fact that the cow crapped all over while she was trying to milk it. Gina added that she actually had a good time with the wackpackers: “I love Yucko. We bonded.” Gina also learned that one of the Christy family’s dogs was deathly afraid of Richard: “I don’t know what Richard did to it to make it that scared.” Richard explained that he didn’t know either as he would never do anything to harm a dog.

THE BALLAD OF PONCHO AND RUSTY

Howard welcomed a mechanic named Tommy to the studio to play “Gina or Wiener.” Tommy told the crew he was a huge fan of Gina’s – he even has her face and signature tattooed on his arm.

Howard then set the rules for the game, telling Tommy that he’ll get to fondle Gina’s breasts if he gets the first trivia question right. For the second, he gets to fondle her ass. The third gets him a lap-dance. For four right answers, he gets to spank her. All five earns him a fully-nude “massage.” Richard and Sal came in as “Poncho” and “Rusty” to explain the other side of the contest: for every wrong answer, they’ll slap Tommy in the face with their “wieners.” Gina told Richard she liked his penis better than Sal’s. Howard then started with the questions:

TOMMY PLAYS “GINA OR WIENER”

What major music video did Gina star in? Tommy knew it was Eminem’s “Superman,” so Gina stripped down and allowed him to feel her up. Tommy said, “Very nice…that was great.”

What is Gina’s birth name? Tommy actually spelled out the correct answer: Tanya Mercado. Tommy then grabbed her ass: “It’s nice and firm.”

Where was Gina born? Tommy knew it was Puerto Rico, so Gina straddled him and began grinding away. Tommy was elated: “This is f’ing awesome.”

What was the first movie in which Gina had anal sex? Tommy didn’t know the answer: there isn’t one. Gina said she’s actually never had anal – not even in her personal life: “Anything near my asshole freaks me out…but I will pound any girl anally with a dildo.” Sal and Richard then crouched over Tommy’s face and slapped away as the crew laughed hysterically. Howard was disgusted: “Sal, you were getting aroused!”

What state does Gina live in? Tommy actually knew the town and the state: Pennsylvania. Tommy lied down on the ground as Gina took off his shirt and rubbed him down: “Oh he’s hairy. Are you ok? He’s pretty hairy…I would shave that shit off.”

GINA RIDES AGAIN

Gina stepped over to the Sybian and took it for a ride: “I think about hockey players. Hot professional hockey players…I’m getting there…

I have to, like, get that spot…I’m getting there…I found the spot…

higher higher higher…[climax]…it doesn’t take that much anymore. My body just let out, like, all energy.” Gary laughed that Gina really rode the Sybian: “She almost came off it.”
OBAMA!!! REACTION TO OBAMA’S VICTORY IT’S A GREAT DAY FOR AMERICA

Scott Depace came in to say he blamed Bush for Obama’s victory: “He definitely did things wrong, but Obama raising taxes will never help the economy…I’m quite agitated.” Robin was surprised at Scott’s anger, so Scott explained: “I’m upset that people are so swayed by bullshit.” Howard wondered if Scott could put his bitterness aside and attend Jason’s wedding this weekend, so Scott laughed: “No. I told him I didn’t even want to be invited.”

Daniel Carver called in to speculate that Obama’s win might rejuvenate the KKK: “It could backfire and all the white people will join the Klan.” Howard asked Daniel how 25% of his (predominantly white) hometown could have voted for Obama, so Daniel explained, “Every town’s got a little black in it…we knew it would come some day. If it wasn’t this time, it would be later…I was hoping I wasn’t going to see it in [my lifetime].” Howard then spoke with Daniel’s wife, who promised that Obama’s presidency wouldn’t last longer than 4 years.
ERIC THE MIDGET VISITS WITH DIANA DEGARMO AND KURT ANGLEERIC THE MIDGET’S FIRST LIVE APPEARANCE

Howard welcomed Eric the Midget and the two Bunny Ranch girls who took his virginity to the studio and the little guy greeted the crew as best he could: “Good morning.”

Eric said he had a threesome with the girls last night but refused to give details: “Hanging out with them was fun. As far as you people are concerned, it’s my personal business. You’re cut off.”

Howard told Eric he wouldn’t have bagged the chicks if it weren’t for the show, and Eric eventually broke down, saying that the girls kept him up until 2am.

The girls – Hailey and Cherry – then described the experience, “We took his pants off and he was good to go…he loves to kiss [our breasts] and touch ‘em and suck ‘em and touch ‘em some more…

he was on his back…surprisingly [he] doesn’t finish as fast as you think.”

Howard asked Cherry, the girl who actually had intercourse with Eric, if she had an orgasm, and she said that she didn’t – though Eric did try to manipulate her clitoris during sex, something he claimed to have learned from watching porn

ERIC’S REAL DOLL IS A GO

Howard then introduced Eric to a representative from the Real Doll company, explaining that he was there take Eric’s measurements for a Real Doll facsimile. Eric refused to consent: “No he’s f’ing not. I will break his wrist. I don’t care if it’s painless. Stay the f’ away from me.”

The Real Doll representative thought Eric could expect a share of the profits from the “millions” of Eric the Midget real dolls they hoped to sell, but Eric wouldn’t budge.

Eric then told the crew that his parents were still upset about the show publicizing his deflowering, so Howard promised him a consolation prize: High Pitch “Kelly Clarkson” Erik! Who came in and sang a song about her “stinky twat” for Eric, but Eric didn’t respond as planned: “Get the f’ away from me, High Pitch.”

“Kelly Clarkson” knew her/his cue: “Who’s High Pitch? I’m Kelly Clarkson.” Howard then asked Eric if he’d consent to the Real Doll if he could produce Diana DeGarmo – and Eric agreed.

ERIC MEETS DIANA DEGARMO

Howard triumphantly welcomed Eric’s favorite American Idol contestant, Diana DeGarmo into the studio! Artie was stunned: “Is that really her?” Howard asked Diana if Eric’s constant calls to her mom’s home scared her, and Diana explained: “Calling my mother’s house was interesting, but my number was unlisted – and hers is no longer…It’s a little weird to have someone you’ve never met before call the house.”

Eric then asked Diana if she’d like to “continue seeing-meeting with each other” and she replied, “Yeah, at the shows.”

Robin told Diana that Eric wanted to see her more than just at her concerts,

but Artie thought Eric would have a better chance of f’ing Ruben Studdard. Diana agreed, saying her boyfriend would have a problem with that.

KURT ANGLE MAKES A GREAT WINGMAN

TNA wrestler Kurt Angle also stopped by to say hi to Eric and said that Howard inspired his move to help build TNA into the WWE’s main professional wrestling competitor: “It’s been a growing experience and it’s getting bigger and better.”

Kurt then told Eric not to blow his big chance to profess his love to Diana: “You have to ask her. You have to have the balls to ask her…I’m gonna make you an honorary member of The Main Event Mafia and as an honorary member, you have to go for the ‘P.’”

Eric eventually broke down and turned to Diana: “I was wondering, the next time you’re out in California, would you like to meet for dinner?” Diana said she’d think about it: “That’s not a no! If I do, I’ll hit you up on MySpace.” Kurt was bummed and offered Eric something better: “You know what? You can f’ me.” Eric refused: “No. You’re a guy.”

Natalie Maines then asked the Bunny Ranch girls how long they were with Eric, and they reported that the love-making session lasted two hours.
JOAN RIVERS VISITSJOAN RIVERS THINKS SHE’S GENEROUS

Joan Rivers stopped by to promote her upcoming stand at The Cutting Room in New York and Howard immediately cut into her for bragging about her $500 wedding gift. Joan insisted that she told her assistant to make a donation to the charity Howard and Beth specified, but she didn’t tell her the amount – the assistant did that on her own. Howard said the charity contacted him and said that Joan wanted him to know how much she gave: “I said, ‘Gee, Joan must think $500 is a lot of money.’”

Robin told a few stories about Joan being miserable at Howard’s wedding, but Joan claimed she had “the best time” and was just joking. Howard laughed that Joan complained to him about Phoebe Snow’s performance, so Joan explained: “I’ve known Phoebe forever. Should I stop making jokes?” Joan did take issue with a long toast given by one of Beth’s friends: “She should have said, ‘Who do I go to for plastic surgery?’ That should have been her speech.”

PHIL SPECTOR LOVES GUNS

Howard asked Joan about testifying at the Phil Spector trial, so Joan explained that she’d testified about the time Phil came to her Christmas party and ended up pulling a gun on Walter Cronkite’s daughter. Joan said it wasn’t the first time she’d had to kick him out of her house: “The first time he was drunk. The second time he started with the gun…and as he’s walking out, brandishing the gun, my little neighbor went up to him and said ‘Merry Christmas.’ He was like, ‘F’ you!’”

Joan also told a story about sitting next to Bill Clinton at Robert Rauschenberg’s funeral but he spent most of the time talking to a pair of nurses sitting on the other side. However, it didn’t seem to go anywhere as Howard changed the subject, asking how much it cost to prepare her for today’s interview. Joan said her hair cost $200 (On the subject how many strands were real, Joan joked that it wasn’t many: “They have names.”) and make-up ran her another $150/200: “Next time I’ll come [without it all on] and scare the hell out of you.” SAL’S WRAP UP SHOW ANTICS SAL FIGHTS TO UNDERSTAND

On Wednesday’s Wrap-Up Show, Jon Hein celebrated Obama’s victory by asking Sala few political questions. Sal admitted he was confused about many issues, including: when Obama’s presidency will actually begin, practical timelines for Obama’s policies and why change can’t happen overnight. Jon tried to answer Sal’s questions, but Sal went into what Gary’s calls “Stockbroker mode” and began yelling that the staff was brainwashed.

Gary asked Sal to swear on his family that he voted for Obama, but Sal refused, as he doesn’t believe in swearing on his family. Sal said he did vote for Obama – and no one else, explaining (in increasing volume) that all politicians are liars. Sal added that he was trying to read the paper to become more aware of the political climate, but the show always mocks these attempts instead of allowing him to work through his confusion.

SAL FINDS HIS POINT

Sal’s confusion began to leak through in his language: he started saying “republic” instead of Republican and “abzerd” instead of absurd. Eventually Sal stumbled on a legitimate point where he’d done some firsthand research, remarking that when he interviewed Harlem residents about Obama’s “conservative policies” (he’d switched them with McCain’s) and they all agreed with Obama, he learned that black people were only voting along racial lines.

Friday’s Show

Leave a Reply

Name (required)

Mail (will not be published) (required)

Website