Date posted: September 12, 2008

The best of the week september 8 – 11 – The Howard Stern ShowFriday,  September 12, 2008The Best of the Week September 8 – 11 The Howard Stern Show for September 12, 2008MONDAY: BRAD GARRETT IN STUDIO.BRAD GARRETT COMES OUT SWINGING
Brad Garrett stopped by to promote “Till Death” and told the crew that he wouldn’t be explaining the black eye he was sporting this morning: “I had an accident last night…I won’t tell ya.” Brad asked Howard how “well endowed” he must be to demand an 11-carat engagement ring, so Howard answered by quoting Brad’s comments on loneliness. Howard explained that he and Beth enjoyed each other’s company, which was a rare thing after 7 years together: “Beth and I clicked. I like being with her.” Brad admitted that he’d like to find a woman like Beth: “You’re the luckiest f’ in the world. She runs ten miles and comes back?”


Howard asked Brad about his new dating show: “You’re not being honest. You were hoping you’d meet someone hot.” Brad said Howard was probably right, but none of the girls that auditioned made the cut.

HowardTV brought up a picture of Brad’s girlfriend on the in-studio monitors, but Brad claimed they had that the wrong girl: “[That's] a hooker…no, that’s someone I dated almost a year ago.” Brad laughed that the girl he was dating now was 5′3”, which, for a 6′7” guy, is a big difference. When HowardTV finally found a picture of his actual girlfriend, everyone agreed that she was hot.

“DON’T WASTE OUR TIME”

As a parting shot, Brad expressed some concern about Artie’s drinking, saying that the he shouldn’t be afraid that sobriety will ruin his act or talent, which is sometimes a hard thing for alcoholics to hear: “When people used to tell me that, I wanted to put them through a wall…but you gotta be ready.” Brad added that Artie can’t turn into a “just a beer, just a glass of wine” drinker – he has to go all the way: “Don’t waste our time.”
WEDNESDAY: ERNEST BORGNINE CALLS THE SHOWERNEST BORGNINE SPANKS FOR LIFE

Ernest Borgnine called in to promote his new book, “Ernie: The Autobiography,” and Howard noted that Ernest – apart from starring in “McHale’s Navy” – was an actual war hero. Ernest said Howard was right: “I was in the Navy for ten years. I was what they call a ‘depression sailor.’ I joined the Navy to get off the streets.” Howard asked if Ernest had to give away half his fortune after each of his five divorces, and Ernest laughed: “Yeah, I think so!”

Howard told Ernest he was great for telling the “Fox & Friends” hosts that the secret to his longevity was masturbation, but Ernest shrugged off the compliment: “I say that all the time.” Artie joked, “If you told me when I woke up this morning that I’d hear something that’d make me like Ernest Borgnine more, I’d say you were a liar.” Howard then asked if Ernest had ever had a prostitute orgy, but Ernest didn’t seem to think they were necessary: “One was always enough.”
MONDAY: RONNIE IN VEGAS AND WILL’S WEDDING ANTICS.WHEN HE’S AWAKE, RONNIE THE LIMO DRIVER IS ALL HANDS
Howard laughed that Ronnie the Limo Driver recently hosted a stripper award show in Vegas, and from the looks of the pictures, “He’s always got his hands on somebody.” Ronnie came in to say he wasn’t trying to get hands-y with the ladies, but Howard didn’t want to hear it. Ronnie also claimed the award show was actually the “exotic dancer awards,” so Howard played a few clips of Ronnie’s kinda-sleazy lines and told him to chill out: “You’re not funny.”

While Ronnie was in-studio, HowardTV revealed that they had a new original series documenting Ronnie’s daily life – including a lot of footage of Ronnie sleeping on the job. Lisa G also claimed to have caught Ronnie “dead asleep” last week: “I didn’t want to say anything…I was kind of impressed. He must be having a wild life when he leaves here.” Robin was more freaked out by Ronnie’s attire than his behavior: “What is with those shirts? Yucko wouldn’t even wear that thing.”
THURSDAY: DANNY BONADUCE VS. BOB LEVY LEVY & BONADUCE FACE OFF

Danny said he was taking a lot of steroids to prepare for the show: “I have no concern for my health.” Danny also bragged about his new girlfriend, a 26-year-old tenth-grade math teacher. Howard asked Danny how he planned to take Bob out, and Danny explained that he would take one of Bob’s punches. If it hurts, he’ll take Bob out early. If it doesn’t, he’ll torture Bob for all three rounds. Howard pleaded with the guys to call off the fight, but both refused.
WEDNESDAY: “MAD DOG” PROMOTES HIS NEW SHOWMAD DOG ARRIVES AT SIRIUS

Chris “Mad Dog” Russo stopped by to promote Mad Dog Radio, his new SiriusXM channel, and told the crew that he got his freakishly tan skin from playing with his four kids on the beach at his house down the shore. Howard asked how Chris became a San Francisco Giants fan instead of a Yankee fan, so Chris explained that he grew up during the early 70s when the Yankees weren’t that good and got sick of his father, a life-long Yankee fan, constantly going on about Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle.


Howard wondered if Chris’ father wanted him to take over the family’s jewelry business, and Chris said he did, but his old man eventually came around and supported his son’s decision to do radio. Howard asked Chris if he would be pleased by his former co-host’s failure, but Chris resisted: “Can I say he’d be equal?…That’s not gonna make me happy.” Howard then told Chris he was going to love working at Sirius.

SAY IT AIN’T SO MAD DOG

Howard asked if Chris ever gambled on sports, and Chris said he could get “a little carried away with that. I like to make seasonal bets.” Chris said the issue was tricky: “If you’re mad at a team for losing a game, the gambler thinks you lost money on it.” Chris then showed the crew how upset he can get when the Giants lose – including, at Howard’s request, a very uncharacteristic f-word.
TUESDAY: AC/DC IN STUDIO AC/DC ARE RICH AS HELL

Angus Young and Brian Johnson of AC/DC stopped by to promote their new album and, when asked about the previous guests, Brian remarked that “Every man who gets married pays for sex, man.” Howard wondered if the pair hangs out together when they’re not on tour, but they said they live too far apart. Brian told the crew that he hangs out around his home in Sarasota most of the time and races vintage cars: “I don’t like fishin’ and I don’t like golf.” Angus said he lives in Holland, London and New York.


Howard asked the guys how their deal with Wal-Mart came together, so Angus explained: “We’re not snobs. Wal-Mart’s are everywhere, man.” Howard marveled at the deal – especially Wal-Mart agreeing to pre-purchase three million copies of the band’s new album – and asked just how rich they were. Angus said they were rich enough for Brian’s “beater” (vintage) race cars. Howard also wondered why Angus married his wife without a pre-nup, so he claimed that he only had “the boots on my feet” at the time.

Friday’s Show

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