Date posted: February 9, 2009

Thursday,  January 29, 2009LOVE THAT MAN SMELL The Howard Stern Show for January 29, 2009I BELIEVE SHE LOVES ME

Sal started off the show revealing that when he took his family to Disneyland (with the money he earned by letting his wife shoot him in the ass with a paintball gun), Christine spent part of the time by the pool texting her emotional friend. Howard speculated that Christine must be getting it elsewhere, but Sal denied it: “I love my wife. I believe she loves me.”
ARTIE BANGED YOUR BRIDEArtie told a story of his own contribution to marital strife: “I had sex with a chick once, and the next day I found out [we'd met at] her bachelorette party. I got depressed. All her friends were angry with me and her when I ran into them the next morning in the hotel lobby. I was the Chippendale! I felt so bad for the guy.”
MILE HIGH CIRCLE JERKHoward wondered if Sal still spent a lot of time masturbating, leading Sal to admit that he occasionally visits the video booths before his train ride home. Sal added that talking about it on the show has ruined his cover: “One time a cop yelled at me as I was coming into Penn Station: ‘Hey Sal, you just come from the booths?’” Sal said he now kept a lot of porn on his cell phone instead: “Like, on a plane, I’ll take my video iPod in the bathroom once in a while.”

Richard came in to say he also loved to masturbate when he flies: “It’s so relaxing. I get so nervous on the plane, drinking and whacking off is the only way [to deal].” Sal confessed that the weirdest place he’d ever beat off was in a tanning bed: “I would prepare myself and get as many paper towels as I could and then toss one off and lay there.” Richard and Sal also revealed that they have pleasured themselves (not each other) one right after the other on the same flight, Sal added that he purposefully put his unwashed hand on Rev. Bob Levy’s shoulder on his way back to his seat afterwards.

RICHARD LOVES HIS MAN SMELL

While he was in-studio, Richard remarked: “There’s nothing better than sticking your two fingers between your balls and your thigh and getting that strong man smell.” Artie asked if Richard found anything wrong with what he had just said, but Richard just laughed: “I’m a simple person.” Richard admitted that his girlfriend will usually tell him when he needs to shower or brush his teeth.
LISA G’S DEMO REEL

Howard played a clip of Lisa G’s first demo tape, and everyone had a laugh at 17-year-old Lisa’s thick Long Island accent. Lisa then came in to laugh that she sounded like Amy Fisher in her sex tape.
GARY FILIBUSTERS Howard looked at pictures of Gary’s home theater and asked if Gary got paid for allowing it to be photographed. Gary refused to answer and repeatedly yelled “LALALALALA” over the crew’s questions/discussion on the topic. Everyone cracked up over Gary’s behavior and added that Gary made a mistake by allowing Sound & Vision magazine to publish both pictures and floor-plan of his home.

JOHN THE STUTTERER HAS A THEORYJohn the Stutterer called in to say he found it “very curious” that his Howard101 show was cancelled after he’d attacked Howard’s friend Rudy Giuliani. Howard was unsure that John’s show had been cancelled: “I like the guy…[but] you’re being ridiculous. You have a show coming up.” No one else could figure out why John thought his show was cancelled, and Artie encouraged John to wise up: “Say what you want. Howard’s not censoring ya.”
MIKE WALKER’S GOSSIP GAMEHoward got Mike Walker from The National Enquirer on the line, as he does every Thursday, to play The Gossip Game, in which Mike reads four gossip items – three (allegedly) true, one false – and the crew has to guess the fake. This week’s stories:
1. Jennifer Aniston has turned down a $4 million offer from Playboy.
2. Dustin Hoffman was super nice to a waiter who accidentally spilled food on him.
3. Britney Spears had a closed LA boutique opened so she could buy a pair of panties, as she seemed to have forgotten to put some on that day.
4. Kate Winslet writes romance novels in her spare time.
Howard and Robin thought the Britney Spears item was a recycled story, Artie didn’t believe that Mike knew (as he claimed) Dustin Hoffman and Fred picked the Kate Winslet item “for the block.” Mike then announced that Fred had broken the show’s three week-long losing streak – the Kate Winslet item was recycled from a story about Jackee.

Kidney donors tend to do quite well after surgeryMeet the first cloned puppy in America. The Super Bowl
is expected to attract 100 million American viewers. An Oregon couple has been sentenced to 60 days in jail for bestialityJerry Lewis may have an illegitimate daughterAshlee Simpson is upset that people are talking about her sister’s weight. Some asshole threw his daughter off a bridgeMickey Rourke is going to wrestle for the WWEUS mail delivery might cut back to five days. Olivia Newton-John’s missing ex might be alive
The new season of “Hell’s Kitchen” starts tonight.
Ralph referenced this article about Gary’s home.
Steve Langford reported that “Adam Carolla Show” co-host Teresa Strasser is a huge Robin Quivers fan. Lynyrd Skynyrd keyboardist Billy Powell is dead.
Gary read this list of the most popular TV personalities
The crew discussed Ted Haggard’s appearance on Oprah
Howard played a bunch of clips of Amy Fisher’s hilarious sex tape.
For some reason Johnny Fratto called in to say he loved Piaget watchesJohn the Stutterer told Robin all the fun things he wanted to lick on her bodyThursday’s Show