CAMI AND HER “DADDY” The Howard Stern Show for October 22, 2009

Howard started off the show offering further comment on the poor media line spots Lisa G gets stuck with at red carpet events, saying she probably shouldn’t use his name at all – she'd be better off if she simply said she was with Sirius XM: "People are scared to death of me...she can't believe that my name doesn't open up doors and believe me, it doesn't...I don't get special treatment."

Robin reported that she was confused by the bouquet of flowers Clarence Clemons sent her after his appearance yesterday: "He walks in here and tells me he's in love with his wife and then sends me flowers." Howard thought Clarence might be looking to have more than one romance: "One has nothing to do with the other."

Howard got Dina, another listener who wanted to date Medicated Pete, on the line and told her Pete was starting to seem more relaxed on the air and around the office. Pete came in to say he had a new attitude: "You're correct...I'm getting more confident." Artie checked him: "If you're not careful, you're gonna become an asshole."

Howard asked Dina why she was in a wheelchair, so she explained that she had Friedreich's ataxia, a neurological condition that affects her balance. Dina added that she'd last gotten laid "earlier this year" and was actually quite athletic – despite not being able to use her legs: "I row. I rock climb." Pete said he'd love to meet Dina but refused another suggestion – that he not take his meds for a day: "I spaz out completely – completely off the charts."

Howard also took another call from a woman who wanted to date Pete and learned she had a felony conviction. She said she'd recently done 8 months in jail for Grand Larceny: "I took some money from my former employer." She explained that she'd worked as an office manager for an engineering firm and – due in part to a gambling problem – “borrowed” about $8,000: "I actually planned on paying it back slowly but I was caught before that happened."

She claimed she hadn't gotten laid since her release from Rikers: "I wanna date Pete so bad, Howard! He seems honest, adorable and cute." Robin laughed: "Funny that you're into honesty." Howard pressed further, asking how Pete could be sure she wouldn't scam him, so she replied: "8 months on Rikers Island rehabilitates you."

The Bunny Ranch’s newest whore, Cami Parker, stopped by and said she grew watching up watching Howard's TV shows: "I was always the horniest girl. I was rubbing my pussy before I even knew what I was doing." Despite her overtly-sexual nature, Cami said she wasn't able to convince her first boyfriend to bang her until she was 17: "All he would do was lick me all the time. I was like, 'I wanna get f’ed.'"

Cami said she didn't do much after graduating from high school other than "hang out with my girlfriends, go out, find guys to f’." Cami said her routine stopped when she caught an episode of the Tyra Banks show featuring Bunny Ranch proprietor Dennis Hof and one of his pregnant whores: "I was like, 'He is so sexy. I have to f’ this man.' ‘Daddy’ [this is what she calls Dennis, she is not talking about her father] is the sexiest man in the world." After that, Cami arranged to become one of Dennis' whores. Howard laughed: "Too bad you didn't watch the Tyra show on mathematicians."

Cami said she was enjoying her new career: "They say if you can get paid to do what you love, you'll never work a day in your life."

Cami had a particular affection for her fellow whores' bisexuality: "That's why I like the Bunny Ranch! Everybody loves girls and we get to f’ all day." She also displayed a passion for the business: "I love to make men cum. That's my favorite everything."

Ham Hands Bill called in to ask if Cami was into anal, and Cami claimed she was an anal virgin – but would give it up for $25,000.

Howard then asked Cami to ride the Sybian, and she jumped up, striped down and straddled it: "This thing is really gonna make me cum! Let me play with my titties for a little bit." Cami climaxed in less than a minute: "Oh my god! I had to stand up! That made me cum like something else. It's too sensitive."

On her way out, Cami plugged the Bunny Ranch one last time: "Come visit me and check out my pussy! It's great."

Howard got Mike Walker from The National Enquirer on the line, as he does every Thursday, to play “The Gossip Game,” in which Mike reads four gossip items – three (allegedly) true, one false – and the crew has to pick the fake. This week's stories:

1. Woody Harrelson paid a homeless guy $100 to promote “Zombieland” on a piece of cardboard.

2. Cameron Diaz personally scrubbed her on-set trailer's bathroom.

3. Madonna shocked SNL staffers by leaving her dressing room door wide open as she flexed in front of the mirror in her underwear, yelling: "Aren't I f’ing awesome?!"

4. “Hills” star Lauren Conrad wrecked her new Audi two days in a row.

Robin, Artie and Fred all went the Cameron Diaz item and Howard went with the Madonna story. Mike then announced that no one was right – the Lauren Conrad story was false.