Tuesday,  February 10, 2009AL ROKER COMES CLEAN The Howard Stern Show for February 10, 2009STD ROULETTEHoward started off the show talking with a caller about STDs, saying he was always sure to use protection: “You gotta figure just playing the law of averages, somebody had something at sometime…to tell you the truth, I kind of blissfully make myself unaware. I’m glad I’m married now so I don’t have to play that game.” Artie said he got Chlamydia once – but his story was cut off when Al Roker walked into the studio.AL ROKER IS DOING BETTER THAN ARTIEAl Roker came in early to promote his TNT show, “DEA,” as he has to head over to his other job on “The Today Show.” Al immediately told Artie he loved his book, calling it the feel bad book of the year, adding, “I was feeling bad before I read it. Now I’m like, ‘Hey, I feel ok. As long as I’m not dead, I’m doing better than this guy.’” Continuing their earlier discussion, Howard asked if Al ever ran into an unclean woman in his travels, but Al denied it: “No. I got a little nervous when one had an EZ Pass, but no.”
Howard asked Al about the bargaining chips he uses with NBC during negotiations, but Al claimed he never tried to play the I’m-getting-other-offers card: “I met with Mel Karmazin once when he was at CBS, but that was just because he was an interesting guy.” Al did admit that his salary has improved dramatically over his first gig, when he made just ten dollars a newscast: “I was thinking, ‘I’m gonna do this a until I get a real job.’”

AL BINGES ON FRIES AND ICE CREAM

Howard wondered if Al was always overweight, and Al confessed that he’d gained a little since the all-time low he hit after gastric bypass surgery: “I’m never gonna be back to where I was…[but] when I eat way too much, I feel horrible.” Howard asked if Kathie Lee made Al want to gorge, but Al avoided the question (”I like Kathie Lee.”), choosing instead to cite his favorite binge foods: “Either vanilla ice cream or French fries.”

HEY CHARLIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Tim Sabean came in to discuss Echostar CEO Charlie Ergen’s move to buy Sirius XM’s bank debt: “I think he’s trying to take us over.” Tim promised that Sirius XM CEO Mel Karmazin was upstairs “working his magic…You don’t doubt Mel Karmazin. Ever. Ever. EVER!” Howard asked Tim if he could call Charlie to ask him what his intentions were, and Tim said it was ok. Later, Gary actually put in a call live on-air, but Charlie didn’t answer. Gary left a message.THE REV. BOB LEVY CATCHES “STRAP METAL”

Howard welcomed the Reverend Bob Levy and The King of all Grammar to report on the reading test Bob took first thing this morning. Howard heard Bob say “shrapnel” wrong on the tape and had him repeat it live, so Bob tried again – it came out as “strap metal.”

Howard also played clips of Bob bungling the pronunciations of words like synopsis, obscure, resplendent, facetious, and several others – and displaying no comprehension of a sentence he’d just read.

…AND READS AT A 6TH GRADE LEVELThe gang all placed bets on the results of Bob’s reading test. Howard predicted that Bob read at a 5th grade level. Robin went with 3rd grade, Artie 2nd and Fred 6th. The King of All Grammar then announced that Fred was right – Bob reads at a 6th grade level. Bob was stoked: “That better than I thought! I’m f’ing thrilled. I thought I was, like, 4th.”
The King put Bob’s reading comprehension a little lower, at the 3rd grade level: “I wouldn’t say Bob’s retarded. Bob’s a street-smart guy.” Bob thanked everyone for their support: “Anytime you guys wanna feel good about yourselves, I’ll be back.” Howard wondered how Bob made it through school and asked if it had been a traumatic experience. However, he was afraid Bob might not know what traumatic meant, but Bob knew exactly what it meant: “You mean like this morning?”
THE UGLY STOPS HEREHoward played a clip from one of last week’s Wrap-Up Shows in which Jason said he didn’t want to have children – because he was afraid they’d be ugly: “Let’s just say we were at a family get-together a couple of years ago and I was just looking around and thinking, ‘Do I really need to bring another one of these into the world?’” Artie happily pointed out that he did not suffer from the same problem, as most of the people in his family were good-looking.

RICHARD & BEN-SHE MEET “HUNK”

Richard came in to introduce a clip in which he interviews a Comic-Con attendee dressed up as the character ‘Hunk’ from the movie “Resident Evil.” Like the now-infamous Darth Nihilus interview, the guy refused to take off his mask/helmet for the interview, so Richard kept pretending not to hear the guy and asking him to repeat himself.
Howard also played a few clips of Benjy interrupting a video game presentation with a series of inane questions (”Where in the universe is this? How far in the future is this? Is this the kind of change we wanted when Obama won?”) – until he got kicked out of the Comic-Con. Richard laughed that all the nerds clapped when Benjy got booted.NICK DIPAOLO IS GIVING OBAMA A CHANCENick DiPaolo stopped by to promote the upcoming “Killers of Comedy” gigs and said he’d managed to put his politics aside and stand behind Obama: “I was watching the inauguration and I never knew so many black kids played the tuba. It was like halftime at a Grambling game.” Howard asked if Nick was still trying to do a radio show, and Nick confirmed it: “I did a demo show for Sabean. That was July 28th. I’m still waiting to hear from him.”

The Grammys scored some great ratingsRihanna supposedly looks pretty beat upSome guy called 911 to report that Burger King was out of lemonadeBen Roethlisberger played in The Super Bowl with broken ribsTV could be coming to your contact lensesAmazon has released a new KindleA-Rod fessed upRay-J is still dating Whitney HoustonKate Hudson and Owen Wilson are back togetherNick DiPaolo told Robin she looked great. Artie faced off with Steve Langford over “coverage” he denied the Howard 100 News team.
Howard said Dan Marino had a “beautiful ass.”
The crew again discussed the saga of Octo-mom
Howard played a clip of Stuttering John’s odd new Tonight Show announcer accent. Al Roker denied any homosexual tendencies, and then called Matt Lauer “A sweet piece of man candy.”
Al confessed to masturbating in doctor’s offices on several occasions…for clinical purposes of course.Tuesday’s Show