Wednesday,  December 10, 2008BENJY’S LAST MEAL? The Howard Stern Show for December 10, 2008FILL ‘ER UP, STEVE BRANDANOGary reported that Artie was running late and was driving himself in – but was also nearly out of gas and had asked that Steve Brandano meet him downstairs to take his car to fill it up.

Robin speculated that Artie ran out of gas because he’d driven to Delaware on his way to work this morning. Howard said he felt bad for Steve, so Artie called in to explain that he hadn’t run out of gas yet – he was just afraid that it might hit empty as Steve attempts to park the car down the street: “There’s a gas station at 44th and 10th. I’m passing it now. It’s open.”

BENJY GORGES ON BLUEBERRIES

Howard was disgusted by the sight of Benjy eating out of a giant bag, so Fred explained that Benjy was gorging on blueberries: “There’s a blue stain on his shirt…sometimes [Benjy's eating] sounds like someone’s unrolling a tarp.” Fred also laughed at the irony of Benjy binging on antioxidant-rich foods. Richard came in to agree, saying Benjy must eat a lot of junk food when he’s not in the studio: “When he gets home, it’s gotta be a party.” Benjy admitted to having a strange urge to stuff himself until he’s really full.

SCOTT THE ENGINEER IS [STILL] NOT FUN

Scott the Engineer came in to say he and Ronnie have banned Lisa G from the Black Cloud Diner (his studio) because she had given the on-air staff cookies but not them – even though she spends most of her time in the “Diner” with them.

Ronnie followed Scott in to throw Scott under the bus for complaining about his fantasy football team’s performance: “[Scott] could be a fun guy…he’s just not.” Howard replied by laughingly asking why he wasn’t.

MEET COMMERCIAL BREAK BOY

Sal came in to complain about the name of the staff’s fantasy football league: The Emotional Friends. But before he could say much, Howard asked if he was still living in hell. Sal replied: “Hell started 13 years ago when I walked down the aisle.” Howard asked if his marriage was ever good and Sal laughed that it was early on but had gone downhill from there. Sal also admitted that his wife calls him “Commercial Break Boy” because she only has sex with him during “Oprah” commercial breaks – and he always finishes before they’re over. Sal added: “The way she takes her clothes off? It’s like those guys in prison before they get their assholes checked.” Howard told Sal to leave her: “You gotta get out.” Sal disagreed though, saying that he had “a typical marriage,” calling the situation “an arrangement” and reiterated the fact that he really does love his wife and kids.

WHEN ONLY A TUMMY TUCK WILL DO

Howard took a call from a guy named Nick who said his wife hated the way her stomach looked – so much so that she won’t have sex with him. Howard had Gary get Nick’s wife on the line and told her that she should be honored to be with a man who loves her in spite of her flaws. Nick’s wife didn’t want to hear it, saying she would only bang Nick if he’d spring for a tummy tuck: “I don’t feel sexy.” Eventually Howard gave up because no angle would work for the pair other than a tummy tuck: “These people are fishing for money…I’m getting a grade today and I’m flunking.” Howard then allowed Nick to play a Beetlejuice game for $500, explaining that Sal had asked Beet some Christmas questions and if Nick can correctly guess 3 out 5 times whether or not Beet will know the answer, he’ll win. Howard then started in with the questions:

STILL WAITING ON DOMINIC BARBARA’S PAYMENTJoey G the gay mobster from “The Sopranos” called in to report that Dominic Barbara had bought a signed football helmet at a charity auction three months ago but has yet to pay for it. Dominic called in to claim that the foundation had his credit card number but has charged it for some reason. Howard thought Joey was just trying to embarrass Dominic, but Joey denied it, saying he’d called Dominic’s office several times and had messages personally handed to him, but Dominic had never responded. Dominic then promised settle the matter by over-nighting a check for $1000 more than the original amount.
BENJY HUNGER STRIKES FOR BUBBABenjy said he was going on a hunger strike (”a complete water fast”) until Sirius signed a new contract with Bubba the Love Sponge. Howard thought the stunt was too dangerous: “Why don’t you just lose weight like a normal person?” Benjy stepped on the scale – he weighed in at 250lbs – and promised to stick to the fast: “I might have some coffee [but] I will not eat anything…I’ve been waiting for some issue.”
ERIC THE MIDGET’S CHOICEEric the Midget called in to ask if anyone had seen the “FrankTV” clip in which he was mentioned, but Howard laughed, “The answer is no and no one cares about it.” Howard then played the clip to placate the little guy, and Eric actually uttered a “thank you.”
After a short conversation, Eric noted that he was born on March 11th, leading Artie to joke that Eric’s parents must refer to the date as “Three Eleven.” Eric shot back that the number doubled as Artie’s waist size, so Artie replied, “That’s your height…now go see if your cock can reach your ass and f’ yourself.” Howard asked Eric which of his two Bunny Ranch “girlfriends” he’d save in an emergency, and Eric took his time: “Ooh man…why do you have to put me on the spot like this?…I have to say Haley because she was the one I was with first.” Howard then asked if Eric would also choose Haley over his parents, but Eric wouldn’t choose and regretted his previous answer: “I should’ve refused to answer the last one.”
Dogs are capable of jealousy. Will you watch the first televised assisted-suicide?Praying for a $1.5 million check worksSmarter men have higher quality spermOur military uses “Enter Sandman” to torture terrorists. Mark Ruffalo’s brother died during a game of Russian Roulette.
The 8-year-old double murderer might not be charged with a crimeGreg Maddox has retired from baseballO.J. Simpson’s accomplices have been set free. Jesus was born in JuneA man lost his whole family when a fighter plane crashed into his San Diego homeThe governor of Illinois was crazy-corruptJay Leno isn’t expected to change much for his primetime show

Howard referenced the video of Budd Dwyer committing suicide.
Howard laughed that Stuttering John is currently starring in a production of “Grease.”
Eric the Midget referenced “Little People, Big World.”
The crew debated how culpable Fox was in the death of Paula Abdul’s stalker
Gary told Howard that he has DirectTV scroll his fantasy football stats at the bottom of his screen on Sundays.
Howard read some of his favorite Onion headlines.
Howard referenced Oprah’s new 200lb weight. The gang discussed the plight of Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich.
Wednesday’s Show