Date posted: January 29, 2009

Wednesday,  January 21, 2009AN INTERESTING TATTOO The Howard Stern Show for January 21, 2009RENEE ZELLWEGER’S MANAGEMENT WALLHoward started off the show saying he’d ran into Renee Zellweger a couple times over the years and she’d become an acquaintance. Renee even sent Howard and Beth a wedding gift (”a beautiful Bible” that they keep in their living room), but when Howard tried to send her a thank you note, her people sent word that they don’t allow any kind of direct correspondence. Howard said he was instructed to send the note through them, so now he’s unsure if she ever got the note: “I feel like if she got it, she would’ve responded, ‘Hey, here’s where to reach me if you ever want to send me something.’”ARTIE’S ROLLING STONE ARTICLE IS OUTArtie complained about the article Vanessa Grigoriadis wrote about him for Rolling Stone, saying he took umbrage with the story’s characterization of his family. Howard noted that the article contained at least one revelation – about the time Artie was injected with heroin: “You’ve never said that before.” Artie said it happened a couple years ago, explained that he woke up out of a haze to find the girl he was with injecting (or “skin-popping”) him: “I went crazy. I was throwing shit around her apartment. Then I calmed down ’cause I got high.” Robin laughed that it must have been like a bull being tranquillized.

RICH CRONIN GOT PENNIES

Former LFO lead singer Rich Cronin stopped by to promote his new record, “Billion Dollar Sound.” Rich laughed, as Howard played LFO’s biggest hit, “Summer Girls,” that Lou Pearlman (LFO’s former manager) was one pervy dude: “He wanted to bang everyone. He wanted to bang everyone there…he’s disgusting.” Rich added: “He needed you to sing a little bit, but really he just wanted you to be good-looking.”
Howard asked Rich if he thought Lou took any of his money, and Rich laughed that LFO sold 4 or 5 million records but he only saw pennies: “I should’ve made, like, at least 2 or 3 million dollars.” Rich said Lou even sold the publishing rights to the hits he’d written from underneath him: “I’ve had to go to therapy…He’s really a creepy guy.” Rich then described Lou’s “wonderland for guys” mansion, saying it was full of Star Wars memorabilia – with a fat, boxer short-clad weirdo lying in the middle.LOU WAS A HANDS ON MANAGER Rich told the crew about auditioning for Lou: “He goes, ‘You could be a star…take off your shirt’…then he’s like, ‘Turn around.’” Later, Lou really poured it on: “He’s massaging my shoulders and he’s like, ‘You wanna watch Top Gun?’” Howard asked if Lou ever rubbed Rich’s privates, and Rich admitted that Lou tried: “Eventually he did…some other dudes went for it. And if you did, he took care of you. He’d buy ‘em cars…” Rich laughed that one of those dudes is now famous.
JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT IS FOREVERHoward asked Rich about dating Jennifer Love Hewitt, so Rich replied that he met her at an awards show: “I decided to talk to her and she kept talking to me and talking to me.” Rich eventually flew out to LA for their first date (at Universal Studios) and she asked him to stay with her that first night: “She made me wear two condoms.” Rich laughed that Jennifer even gave him a ring: “She said, ‘Listen, I wanna marry you. We’re gonna be together forever.’” Later, Rich found out she gave the same ring to other guys as well.

STUMP THE BOOEY

Howard welcomed a guy named “Chuckles” and his ex, Jenna, to play Stump the Booey. Howard explained that Chuckles and Gary would be asked to name 80s tunes based on a short audio sample, and if Gary got more right, Jenna would have to get naked. Howard asked Jenna why she and Chuckles broke up, and she was honest: “’Cause I’m a c**t.” Satisfied, Howard started playing the audio clips:
Chuckles guessed the first song was by Bananarama, but Gary knew it was “In My House” by The Mary Jane Girls.

THE SYBIAN MAKES HER ITCHYHoward then raised the curtain and revealed a fully-nude Jenna: “First of all, you’re tattooed heavily, which shows you’re a crazy wild girl.” Artie loved the view: “She’s got a really nice ass.”

The crew was disturbed by the tattoo of a uterus on her abdomen, but not so much that they refused her a Sybian ride: “Can I do it in my ass? I’m on the rag.” Howard allowed it, so Jenna hopped on: “I don’t think it’s as good as I was expecting…It’s kinda making me itchy. It’s not for me.”

Jenna still wanted a chance to make some money, so Howard asked if she liked being tickled. Jenna said she hated it – which everyone decided was a perfect opportunity – and, after negotiating some prize money, agreed to get strapped into the tickle chair. After watching the guys tickle her for about a minute, Howard quickly cut things off and handed over her prize: “That looked like date rape.”

JOAN RIVERS IS LAUGHING AT YOU

Joan Rivers stopped by to promote her new book, “Men Are Stupid And They Like Big Boobs,” and told the crew that she’d once had a breast reduction: “When I hit on the Carson Show, they started sending me all theses dresses and I had these big Jew tits…I had grandma breasts.” Howard asked why Joan forced her daughter into surgery as well, so Joan explained: “I did her a favor. She had my old nose. It was a little too thick.”
Joan laughed that she recently went to Prince Charles’ birthday party and really took to Charles’ wife, Camilla Parker Bowles: “If she sat here, you’d adore her…she’s one of these English women who doesn’t photograph well.” Joan said she also spoke with the Queen but doubts that the Queen liked her: “She [probably] thinks I’m a Jew commoner.” Howard then asked Joan if she ever regretted any of her cosmetic surgeries, so she cited a liposuction procedure: “I went to a doctor I didn’t check out and he did a bad job.”
SLEEPIN’ ON THE JOB AGAINDuring Robin’s News, Howard noted that Artie had not returned to the studio after the last break. Instead, he claimed to be tired and had gone to the green room, shut the door and went to sleep.Britney Spears has been offered $14 million to write a memoirBarack Obama was inaugurated yesterdayThere were some awesome inauguration parties last nightTed Kennedy had a seizureHillary Clinton’s Secretary of State nomination has been put to a voteNY Governor David Paterson will fill Hillary’s Senate seat by this weekendPortland’s new mayor has admitted to having sex with an 18-year-old boyFiat has acquired 35% of ChryslerKevin James is having a good weekHoward played a clip of Regis & Kelly discussing Melissa Zapin’s performance at his wedding.
Late in the show, Howard reported that Artie was asleep in the green room, and Gary came in to explain that Artie just walked out of the studio during the break, said he was tired and shut the door.
Joan Rivers laughed when she heard people lost money in Bernie Madoff’s Ponzi scheme: “If you really knew Bernie Madoff, you saw a crook…I just went down [to Palm Beach] and they’re all crying, ‘I had to go to the sale at Gucci!’” LFO’s biggest hit was “Summer Girls.”
Howard played a clip of Patti Lupone yelling at an audience member who took a photo
Howard admonished Justice Roberts for messing up his most public duty in a long time.Wednesday’s Show