When boys became girls – The Howard Stern ShowThursday,  November 6, 2008WHEN BOYS BECAME GIRLS The Howard Stern Show for November 6, 2008RICHARD CHRISTY CRIES FOR “COTTON”Howard started off the show playing a clip from yesterday’s Wrap-Up Show of Richard Christy crying over the cancellation of Mike Judge’s “King of the Hill.” In the clip, Richard said the character “Cotton” reminded him of his own grandfather and the father-son relationship between “Hank” and “Bobby” reminded him of his own with his father, and his voice began faltering: “It makes me sad.”
ERIC THE MIDGET HATES JETLAGEric the Midget called in to say that he enjoyed his appearance on Monday’s show. Howard asked if the Bunny Ranch girls banged him again after their interview, but Eric admitted that they had not: “Because of jet [stop] lag.” Howard doubted jetlag was the reason, laughing that once they got their plugs in, it was over. Eric shot back that Diana DeGarmo wasn’t much of a surprise guest: “It was more of a shock than a surprise.”
JASON’S SECULAR WEDDINGHoward said he was “consumed” by his plans to attend Jason’s wedding this weekend and reported that Jason was going to Rick’s Cabaret the night before. Jason came in to defend himself, explaining that a bunch of his friends that hadn’t made it to his bachelor party in Amsterdam were coming into town for the wedding.
Jason added that the wedding would be unique: though he and Janice will be married by a Unitarian minister, the ceremony will take place underneath a traditional Jewish chuppa. Howard thought it was crazy to have a religious symbol like a chuppa at a secular wedding, but Jason said it was really more of a decoration than a religious symbol.
ROBOPHONES ARE A PAINAfter a break, Howard came back complaining that his automated phone system had stopped recognizing his voice: “I tell it, ‘Call home,’ and goes ‘Beep. Call car?’” Howard said he went into Gary’s office to try the phone in there and had the same problem – plus another one: “Lisa G, Tim, Shuli – they all hang right outside [Gary's] door…It aggravates me…they all get mad because I’m not standing there talking to them. But I don’t have time. That’s some gaggle.”ARTIE WILL BE ON LETTERMAN FRIDAY NIGHTArtie told the crew that he taped a segment for Friday night’s Letterman show last night, but it wasn’t as awesome as last time, when Natalie Portman was the first guest: “Let me tell you something Howard, she is so f’ing hot…you could tell Letterman was taken with her. It must’ve been the most boring segment. She didn’t say a goddamn word.” Later, Steve Langford reported that Artie was so fat, he had to have his mom tie his shoes for him before his appearance – if he does it himself, his pants fall down.

Artie referenced how weird Dan the Song Parody Man looked when he shaved his goatee to be a “girl” in one of the show’s old bits, so HowardTV brought up images of the incident on the in-studio monitors.

The crew had a good laugh at how odd the staff looked in drag, but all agreed that she-Jason was the most disturbing.

SCOTT REALLY DOES KNOW PEOPLEHoward said he’d heard that Scott Greenstein was really upset by the show making fun of his “weak” industry connections: “I know it feels like his virility is being challenged…[but] he really can get the Rolling Stones on the phone.”

ERIC THE MIDGET HAS ROTTEN PLUM HANDSHoward complained that he was at a restaurant the other day and the chef came out to shake his hand – and the guy’s hand was sopping wet. Robin asked if Howard shook Eric the Midget’s hand the other day, and Howard said it had: “It was soft as velvet.” Robin laughed that it felt like a “cool pillow,” which led Howard to laugh about Jimmy Kimmel’s take: “He says it feels like a rotten plum.”
ARTIE FACES A STEEP DOWNHILL SLIDEHoward confessed that his incontinence problem was getting worse: “The other night, my underwear got so wet I had to change them.” Gary admitted he was having the same issue. Artie said he wasn’t having that problem yet, but Howard said was just too young. Artie admitted he was scared of aging: “Can you imagine when things start going downhill on me?”

Howard got Mike Walker on The National Enquirer on the line, as he does every Thursday, to play “The Gossip Game,” in which he reads four gossip items – three (allegedly) true, one false – and the crew has to guess the fake. Mike then read this week’s stories:

Steve Langford reported that High Pitch Mike had leveled yet another an editorial attack at Artie for a comment he made yesterday [ed: During a discussion of how Artie's language soured his relationship with the charity his cupcake was supporting, Artie said: "Let those people spend a week with High Pitch Mike and see if they're not calling him a faggot."]

Proposition 8 passed in California. Danny Bonaduce has to pay $16,000 a month in spousal and child support.
John McCain has gone on vacation. Sarah Palin says she “can’t even imagine” running for president in 2012. Katt Williams is missing.
Celebrities are excited about Obama’s victory.
Carnie Wilson is pregnant again.
Howard is the #5 top earning celebrity over 50.Howard laughed his way through a National Enquirer’s report about Larry King catching his wife cheating with a 29-year-old actor. Lynn Collins was smoking hot on “True Blood.”
Mike Walker told a pretty random anecdote about Hollywood: “A friend once told me, Mike, ‘Los Angeles is full of middle-aged men who moved here and learned they were gay.’” In response, joked: “And then he f’ed you?”
Robin referenced Duke Ziebert’s Restaurant.
Howard said he thought Adam Brody once had a good shot at being the next Tom Hanks.
The crew likened Don Imus to the Woody character in “Toy Story.”

Thursday’s Show